Notes: I suddenly had this image in my head and wanted to try to get it on paper. Who'd have thought I'd ever write reality tv slash, but it's all too shiny to resist! 🙂
Their friendship meant so much to him, but still, when they hugged or touched or just laughed together, the urge to just reach out and turn the friendly contact into something more became so strong that Ronnie felt he'd have to sit on his hands to stop himself. It was like there was this giant neon sign flashing above Ben's head, going "Hands off! Hands off!" in bright pink letters. The presence of the cameras helped, of course, but there were still hours in the day when they were unobserved. It all became too much for Ronnie to take sometimes, and he had to flee, get out of the room, away from Ben and his bright smile and easy touch.
It was quite late at night and they'd been getting ready for bed. Ronnie had returned from the bathroom to find Ben stretched out on Ronnie's bed. He had obviously just meant to wait for Ronnie, as they usually did, to spend some time just talking things over, but the day had been hard and Ben was fast asleep, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. The sight made something in Ronnie clench painfully, desire making it hard to breathe for a moment. He just knew he had to get away, he couldn't trust himself right at this moment.
So he turned and almost ran, down the stairs into the deserted living area. He really wasn't paying attention to anything as he curled up on the sofa, seeing in his head what could all too easily have happened. He knew in his gut that, should he have made a move, Ben would probably not have resisted, might even have welcomed it. It would have been so easy. So easy to reach out and touch Ben, wake him with a hand sliding down his chest, silencing his surprise with a kiss... Ronnie could almost taste it, could almost feel Ben's hands moving, not to push him away but to pull Ronnie's wandering hand down to cup a growing erection. If only Ronnie could have made himself cross that stupid line he'd drawn into the sand, Ben could have been his, he was sure of it. Which was what made the whole situation even... harder.
Ronnie groaned and reached down to squeeze himself gently through his sweatpants. There was no way he could go back upstairs before he had gotten this out of his system. A wank in the bathroom would hopefully make it possible for him to get through the night without doing anything stupid. Sighing, Ronnie got up and made his way through the dark hallway to the downstairs bathroom. He saw light shining through the crack but figured that someone had just forgotten to turn it off earlier. He definitely did not expect the sight that greeted him as he opened the door and almost gasped in surprise.
It was Perry and Casey he had walked in on, and Ronnie could feel even more of his blood rushing downwards. Perry had Casey pushed against the wall, one hand in Casey's boxers, the other one pressing into his hip. Neither one of them had noticed Ronnie's presence, and Ronnie found himself unable to move. Casey's head was thrown back, his hands grabbing the wall behind him for support, his eyes closed as Perry jerked him off with fast, certain movements. His thigh was pressed against Perry's own erection, rubbing against it in all the right places. Ronnie could hear Casey's harsh breathing and Perry's low groans, then he saw Perry lean over and lick Casey's neck before biting down gently. That was when Casey's eyes opened and he looked straight at Ronnie, who felt like a deer caught in the headlights. He knew he should do something, anything, but he was rooted to the spot, unable to do anything except stare.
"Per, we've got company." Casey did not sound shocked at all. Instead he smiled, a lazy, sexy smile that Ronnie had never seen on him before. He did not move from his stance against the wall, maybe even posed a bit in what Ronnie could only think of as a challenge. Perry, who had turned his attention from Casey's neck to Ronnie at Casey's quiet words, also didn't seem to think that there was anything embarrassing or compromising at all about their position. His hand on Casey's cock stilled, but he did not pull away, and Ronnie felt as if he'd been caught in the Twilight Zone. He also felt aroused and knew the other two could tell.
Then, after what felt like an eternity but could not have been more than 30 seconds, Perry grinned at him in a way that was almost predatory: "So, you caught us. Congratulations. The question is, Ronnie - what are you going to do about it?"
Perry's voice was low and gravelly, and Ronnie could feel it pull on him like a magnet. He swallowed, trying to get his brain to formulate any kind of cohesive response, but was not having much luck. He studied the tiles in front of his feet as if they held the answer, but he could feel Perry's intense gaze and Casey's smile on him.
"Do you want to join us?" Casey's soft voice made Ronnie's head whip back up, but there was no mockery in the other man's eyes. Instead they were almost tender, understanding. "We don't mind, you know - we're just having some fun. And you could use some fun, couldn't you, Ronnie?"
Ronnie could feel himself nod before his brain had had time to process the invitation. This was not what he had expected to happen tonight, but Casey was still smiling, Perry was looking at him as if he was dessert, and Ronnie decided to stop thinking and analysing so much, just this once. He took a step forward and pulled the door shut. Then he was kissing Casey and Perry was pressing against him from behind, and thought was the last thing on his mind.
There was some fumbling and good-natured cursing as they tried to find a position that fit all three of them, but once Ronnie pulled them all down to the floor and set to work sucking Casey off, Perry just moved to the side, wrapping one hand around Ronnie's cock while Casey took a hold of his, and everything fell into place. Casey's free hand was tight in Ronnie's hair, and the sounds he made as Ronnie licked and nibbled and sucked sent shivers down Ronnie's spine. They became a bit muted as Perry leaned over to catch Casey's lips in a hungry kiss, but then Casey's balls were tightening and Ronnie was swallowing quickly. Perry watched with a an almost reverent look on his face, and Ronnie grinned up at him.
"Do you want to taste him?" Not really waiting for a reply, Ronnie moved up and kissed Perry, using the gasp of surprise to slip his tongue in, making sure Perry got a proper taste of Casey's come. Perry got over his shock quickly and kissed back enthusiastically, pulling Ronnie over to lie on top of him. Their erections aligned and Ronnie started to set a satisfying rhythm as he felt Casey sit up next to them, leaning over to kiss the back of Ronnie's neck, his fingers starting to wander, not discriminating between which bits of skin belonged to Ronnie and which to Perry. It didn't take long until Perry came, his shout muffled as Casey took over the kiss. The additional lubrication between them made Ronnie move faster, losing his rhythm as he lost himself in the two bodies holding him.
Afterwards they lay in a sticky heap on the tiles, knowing that they had to move but unwilling to do so right then. Ronnie couldn't suppress a laugh: "Now, that definitely was fun!"
They all laughed, satisfied and tired, exchanging lazy kisses and touches, and Ronnie could almost see this working, the three of them making each other forget the hardships of the competition. That was until an all too familar voice startled them out of their reverie.
"What the fuck!" Ben sounded completely shocked and Ronnie managed to look up just in time to see hurt flash in his friend's face. Then the door slammed shut and the three in the bathroom were left looking at each other.
"You didn't lock the door either, did you?" Perry finally inquired, sounding more amused than anything. Casey was just shaking his head in disbelief. Ronnie, however, felt his heart plummet and extracted himself from the other two guys.
"I... I need to go fix this," he explained as he pulled up the sweatpants he hadn't bothered to take off properly, feeling suddenly very naked and uncomfortable. He did manage to give Perry and Casey a small smile as he left, and the knowledge and understanding on both their faces hurt almost as bad as the thought of Ben's reaction.
Ronnie made his way back up the stairs. The door to their room was closed, and Ronnie began to wonder whether it would be locked, whether Ben would literally have shut him out. However, it opened when he pushed against it hesitatingly. The room was dark, but he could make out the shape of Ben sitting on his bed, head in hands, looking utterly defeated. Ronnie hurt all over to see him like this and know that he had caused it.
"I... God, I'm so sorry, Ben. I... I don't quite know what happened tonight." He hated that his voice sounded so small and scared, but he hated even more that Ben wasn't looking at him. He sat down next to his friend, but was careful not to touch him.
Ben's voice was so low that Ronnie almost didn't hear it: "I came to look for you, man. I woke up and you weren't here, so I went to look for you." He sounded so lost that Ronnie couldn't help himself - he reached out and laid a gentle hand on Ben's shoulder. Ben tensed but did not shake him off. Instead he continued, his eyes still fixed on his knees and his voice so very quiet: "I thought... I guess I thought you were feeling... lonely or something. I know you do, sometimes."
Then Ben looked up and Ronnie tensed at the anger in his eyes: "And instead... instead I find you... with them!"
Ronnie closed his eyes. He could not think under the weight of Ben's gaze. "I was lonely. That's why I went downstairs, to think," he finally said quietly, lying back on the bed and focusing on the ceiling. "I didn't know they'd be in there when I went to the bathroom. And then things just happened. I didn't mean them to, they just did. And, Ben, I didn't mean to hurt you. I just... it felt good and I didn't think."
He made himself look over to where Ben was sitting, staring at Ronnie as if he was trying to crawl inside his brain. It was too dark to make out details, but he knew Ben well enough to picture the warring emotions flitting over his face.
"I didn't think," Ronnie repeated. "I'm sorry. I just needed... I guess I needed to feel I was wanted." He knew Ben would understand all that he was not saying. He just had to hope that it would be enough to save their friendship.
What he did not expect was the weight of Ben's strong, compact body settling next to him. So close that he could feel Ben's breath ghosting against his face as he whispered: "But I do want you. Fuck, Ronnie, I do - I've been trying not to, but I... I want you. It hurts how much I want you."
Then his lips were on Ronnie's, clumsy but determined, and Ronnie sighed into the kiss. He could feel his whole body tense, and then relax as all confusion and worry left him. Theirs was still a thoroughly complicated situation, but for now Ben was there, looking at him with open need in his eyes, and for the second time that night Ronnie decided to stop thinking. Just... one more thing.
"Ben? Could you lock that door?"
Btw, for those of you who have no idea who I'm talking about, have a Youtube clip from the show. They are totally TV boyfriends! Perry and Casey were paired up in a homoerotic photoshoot, the result of which you can see in this photo. *g*
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