{"id":1071,"date":"2016-03-18T19:25:15","date_gmt":"2016-03-18T17:25:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/pr0nandchocolate.net\/shirasade\/?p=1071"},"modified":"2016-03-18T19:25:15","modified_gmt":"2016-03-18T17:25:15","slug":"now-i-know-in-part","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/now-i-know-in-part\/","title":{"rendered":"Now I Know In Part"},"content":{"rendered":"

Author's Note<\/strong>: The Search for Spock<\/em> AU. PWP. Dubcon, I guess, since Spock isn\u2019t in his right mind (literally). I just couldn\u2019t resist this idea once it popped into my head.
\nTitle from 1 Corinthians 13:12: For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Spock is almost unrecognizable when they find him on the decaying planet. It\u2019s not so much his age, although he\u2019s much younger than when Jim first met him, but the emptiness behind his eyes, even as his body rages. It\u2019s like a knife being twisted in an already open wound, seeing the Vulcan again but not being<\/em> seen. <\/p>\n

The pain flares into something almost unbearable when Jim sees David\u2019s too-still body. He\u2019s only just gotten him back - sometimes it feels to him that the only lasting relationship he\u2019s ever managed to maintain is that with Enterprise<\/em>, and even she\u2019s gone now. Saavik\u2019s words, offering all the comfort she can, do nothing to soothe him, and for a long moment all he feels is a maelstrom of grief and anger, despite the knowledge that very soon they\u2019ll all be dead, too, unless he finds them a way off the planet.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s Bones who gets him back on his feet by physically shoving Spock at him. Jim\u2019s arms come up automatically, wrapping themselves around the Vulcan, and it\u2019s as if someone flipped a switch in both of them. Spock, who\u2019s been mindlessly twisting and resisting until now, goes limp in Jim\u2019s embrace, actually buries his head against Jim\u2019s neck, his breathing slowing. Jim, on the other hand, is suddenly back in the present, the fog of his grief dispelled at least for the time being, his mind crystal clear and already beginning to formulate a plan. Spock might not be present mentally, but the body in his arms is hot and wonderfully alive, and Jim needs to get them somewhere safe so they can bring Spock home.<\/p>\n

He succeeds, although as per usual it\u2019s a close thing. He has to let go of Spock in order to fight Kruge, which is harder than it should be, considering that their lives depend on it. However, there\u2019s a part of him that\u2019s rather insistent that he never wants to let Spock out of his sight again. At least he can be certain that the Vulcan won\u2019t move from where he left him, and when he\u2019s finally gotten rid of Kruge, he has no energy to spare for remorse, his entire focus already back on Spock.<\/p>\n

He looks like he did during their first five-year mission, and Jim feels nostalgia wash through him at the sight even as he pulls Spock to his feet. That would have been easier if Jim also had the body of his younger self again, he thinks with a half-smile. Then he starts, because he\u2019s pretty certain that it\u2019s not a tremor in the ground that just caused Spock to collapse against him, pressing their entire bodies against one another. He peers into the familiar face, but it\u2019s still vacant - except that there seems to be a fire burning behind those dark eyes that wasn\u2019t there before. A memory niggles at Jim\u2019s subconscious, but the planet is just about ready to blow, so he pushes it back and hails Kruge\u2019s bird-of-prey instead.<\/p>\n

By the time they\u2019ve dealt with Maltz and managed to set a course towards Vulcan, Genesis is dying a fiery death, taking David\u2019s remains with it, but Jim has no time to watch its demise, already on his way to what passes for a medbay on a Klingon ship. When he gets there, Bones looks tired, eyes suspiciously rimmed with red, and one look at Spock\u2019s too-still form on the bed is all Jim needs for the pieces to fall into place.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou had to sedate him? So it\u2019s pon farr<\/em>, then.\u201d He doesn\u2019t really need the confirmation he sees in McCoy\u2019s eyes, the memory of Spock\u2019s erection pressing into him still vivid. \u201cDo we have time to get him to Vulcan?\u201d<\/p>\n

Again, he already expects the answer before it comes: \u201cI don\u2019t think so, Jim. Although he\u2019s physiologically almost the correct age again, his metabolism is still running faster than it should.\u201d The doctor sounds almost apologetic, but Jim refuses to meet his eyes, keeping his own fixed on Spock\u2019s face, every line of it tense even in sedation. \u201cI\u2019ll get Saavik down here - maybe she\u2019ll be willing to help. Too bad I didn\u2019t bring the necessary equipment to let Spock kill you again.\u201d<\/p>\n

The joke falls flat, but Jim appreciates it nonetheless. Looking up, he quickly shakes his head, steps closer to the bed and takes Spock\u2019s hand in his. He knows he\u2019s blushing, but there\u2019s no time for embarrassment, so he simply states, \u201cThat\u2026 won\u2019t be necessary.\u201d<\/p>\n

Despite the quick widening of his eyes, Bones appears much less surprised than he should be, and Jim knows he\u2019s in for some serious teasing once this crisis passes, yet for now he\u2019s simply grateful for his friend, who nods and backs out, but not before resting a comforting hand on Jim\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n

The door slides shut behind Bones, and Jim realizes he has no idea what to do once Spock regains consciousness - or whatever passes for consciousness if one\u2019s mind was currently residing in another person. For a moment he wonders whether he\u2019s about to seriously mess up, whether he should comm for Saavik after all, let her take over. They\u2019ve never done this before, Spock\u2019s human half apparently enough to spare him the seven-year cycle. However, the thought passes as quickly as it came, his entire body screaming in denial at the idea to let anyone else take his place, get this close to Spock when Jim is right there<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Mind made up, Jim loosens his grip on Spock\u2019s hand, turns it into something like a finger-kiss, tracing over and around Spock\u2019s lifeless hand, trying to push his consciousness into the touch, although he\u2019s not sure it works without the guidance of the warm, blue fire he associates with Spock\u2019s mind. He\u2019s not entirely clueless when it comes to Vulcan customs, after all, knows more than most humans ever will, and he\u2019s always been good at improvisation. And it\u2019s not as if he doesn\u2019t know the body spread out before him almost as well as his own.<\/p>\n

Spock is twitching again, obviously throwing off the effects of McCoy\u2019s drugs, and Jim uses the little time he has left to take off his boots and torn uniform jacket. Then he settles onto the edge of the medbed, cupping Spock\u2019s cheek gently with one hand, the other coming to rest on his chest, before realizing that Spock\u2019s heart is somewhere else. Gently parting the blanket the Vulcan is wrapped in, Jim trails questing fingers around his side, until he can feel the steady thrum of green blood being pumped under his fingertips.<\/p>\n

Spock shivers beneath his touch, and when Jim looks up, his eyes are open. They still lack any trace of personality, but they\u2019re dark with arousal and intensely focused on Jim. It\u2019s familiar enough that heat begins to pool in Jim\u2019s belly, and he traces the elegant brows with his hand, rewarded with a greenish flush beginning to spread down from Spock\u2019s face to his chest when Jim reaches the point of one ear. A faint growl escapes Spock, and Jim smiles: \u201cSo you still like that\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Then he leans down and presses a soft kiss to Spock\u2019s lips, feels them part, and pulls back before it becomes too obvious that it\u2019s just a reflex and not an actual response. Instead he sits back up and is gratified when Spock follows him. They\u2019re facing each other, and Jim can feel Spock\u2019s heartbeat speeding up under his touch. An erection begins to take shape under the blanket that still half-covers Spock, and Jim decides to cut right to the chase and turns away to look for something to use as lube. The moment he lets go of Spock, however, the Vulcan is on him, his entire body plastered against Jim\u2019s back, breath hot against his neck, and Jim barely manages to wrestle him back onto the bed. He keeps one hand in the middle of Spock\u2019s heaving chest, and knows he sounds impossibly fond when he says, grinning: \u201cAlright, alright, I get it, you like to be touched.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Vulcan is calm again, almost pliable under Jim\u2019s touch, although Jim knows that will change once the pon farr<\/em> gains strength. He has no intention of letting it get that far, though, and manages to retrieve a tube of something slick from a drawer while remaining in constant physical contact. The writing on it is in Klingon, of course, but Jim manages to decipher enough of the ingredients to be pretty sure it\u2019s safe.<\/p>\n

Undressing while always keeping a hand on Spock\u2019s skin is something of a feat, but James T. Kirk has gotten naked under weirder circumstances, and finally he\u2019s as bare as Spock, although admittedly not as aroused. He wonders how much of his emotions bleeds through to Spock, whether his telepathy is even working without a mind to process the signals, but since there\u2019s no sign that Spock\u2019s interest is wavering in the slightest, he pushes those questions aside. Instead he climbs onto the thankfully rather wide bed, fitting himself snugly against Spock\u2019s side, feeling any remaining tension bleed from the Vulcan\u2019s body as Jim anchors him with a thigh thrown over narrow hips. Almost instinctively, Jim can feel his own body relax as well, comforted by the familiar heat, the soft scratch of dark body hair against his skin, a sensation he\u2019d thought forever lost to him.<\/p>\n

Dark eyes watch him intently, and it\u2019s unsettling enough for Jim to close the small distance between their mouths and kiss Spock again, feel their breaths mingle, warm and moist like the space between their bodies. He can feel Spock\u2019s long fingers twitch, trapped against his chest, and he takes them into his hand and kisses the smooth palm. Then he places it above Spock\u2019s head, mirrors the movement with his other hand, and tries to communicate without words that he wants the Vulcan to keep them there.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s still no understanding in Spock\u2019s eyes, but he complies readily enough, and Jim returns his attentions to Spock\u2019s face, placing kisses all over it, letting his tongue trace the line of pointed ears. He\u2019s immediately rewarded with a bucking of Spock\u2019s hips, his cock completely hard against his thigh, and Jim can\u2019t help but feeling a bit smug. Then he proceeds to explore Spock thoroughly with lips and hands and sometimes teeth, mapping all the ways in which this body differs from the one before. The differences are smaller than he\u2019d have thought, just a few scars missing, and when he wraps his lips around the already leaking erection and hears Spock hiss above him, it\u2019s enough to send real sparks of lust through Jim.<\/p>\n

Slightly uncoordinated hands land on his head and shoulders, as if Spock wants to reciprocate in some fashion but doesn\u2019t know how. Giving the hard shaft one last affectionate lick, Jim moves upwards again, latching onto a dark nipple while he blindly fumbles with the lube. Strong fingers bite into his back, lips pull back into something that\u2019s almost a snarl, and Jim eases up on his teasing abruptly, needing time to prepare himself. He pushes two fingers inside himself, bites back a gasp when sharp pain reminds him not to rush things. Carefully beginning to work himself open, he soothes Spock with his free hand, continues by rubbing his whole body against his side despite feeling slightly ridiculous, but Spock quiets, although he\u2019s still breathing hard, sweat making his skin glisten.<\/p>\n

Even as he twists three fingers deep into himself, Jim wonders whether there\u2019s a part of Spock that holds back, that remembers<\/em>. Like muscle memory, the awareness of human frailty in comparison to Vulcan strength. Then Jim finds his prostate and thoughts flee, eyes sliding shut as he loses himself in the sensation for a moment. <\/p>\n

A growling noise brings him back, and then he\u2019s on his back, Spock hovering above him, face a hungry mask. They\u2019ve run out of time, but Jim figures he\u2019s as ready as he\u2019ll ever be and wraps his legs around Spock\u2019s hips. A twist, and he\u2019s on top again, a triumphant laugh escaping him, since normally Spock would never be taking by surprise like this. However, it\u2019s a tactical move, not a game, allowing Jim to grip Spock\u2019s hard cock and carefully lower himself onto it, controlling the penetration.<\/p>\n

The stretch burns, but not too much, and Spock\u2019s dark eyes are fixed on him, lust masking the lack of a consciousness behind them, his hands fumbling for purchase until Jim settles them onto his thighs. He sets a fast rhythm, not bothering with finesse or with his own pleasure, figuring it would be best for Spock to take the edge off right away. <\/p>\n

It seems to work, a steady stream of noise escaping Spock, which Jim would probably find endearing, since Spock is normally mostly entirely silent during sex, if it wasn\u2019t also incredibly hot. Then the Vulcan\u2019s body arches, almost unseating his rider, and Jim pitches forward, just barely managing to catch himself with one hand on Spock\u2019s shoulder, the other on the bed next to him. The taut stretch of muscle as Spock throws his head back, baring his throat, beckons, and Jim can\u2019t resist biting down. Strong hands clamp down on his hips painfully, locking him in place, and Spock comes with another wordless sound.<\/p>\n

When Spock has stopped shuddering, Jim eases himself off him, stretches sore muscles until he\u2019s caught in that hungry gaze again, Spock watching him, wide-eyed and silent. He\u2019s already at half-mast again, and Jim chuckles and grabs the lube again, trailing a slick hand down Spock\u2019s chest, wrapping it around the hardening flesh. Jim gets him off almost as quickly as the first time, one hand moving rapidly over Spock\u2019s cock, the other teasing his balls and the hole behind. He might not consciously remember, but Spock\u2019s body still sings like an instrument under Jim\u2019s ministrations, a sight Jim thought he\u2019d never be privileged to witness again. It causes emotions quite unlike lust to catch in his throat when Spock falls apart again, but Jim pushes them back by gently cleaning the mess of fluids from the Vulcan\u2019s relaxed body.<\/p>\n

They rest side by side for a few minutes, Jim with his arms wrapped around Spock, who just lets himself be held, and Jim pretends it\u2019s by choice that they don\u2019t talk. It\u2019s a state that doesn\u2019t last long, unsurprisingly, but what does surprise Jim is the sensation of lips against his chest. It\u2019s nothing like a proper kiss or even a bite, but it sends shivers over his skin anyway, and he luxuriates in the contact until he realizes Spock is rocking against him, pushing his erection into Jim\u2019s hip with increasing urgency. Jim bites back a laugh and fishes out the well-used tube of lube once again. <\/p>\n

He doesn\u2019t need a lot of prep work this time, still pleasantly stretched from before, and when he flips onto his stomach, the cock trapped between his body and the pillow with which he\u2019s propped himself up is heavy with blood. He glances over his shoulder at the Vulcan still plastered to his side and moves his ass back in an open invitation even as he uses one hand to guide Spock to kneel behind him. <\/p>\n

The answering push is uncoordinated, blunt cock sliding ineffectively between Jim\u2019s cheeks, but the intent is clear, and it doesn\u2019t take much direction from Jim until he\u2019s filled again, Spock bottoming out with a sound that\u2019s sheer pleasure. It\u2019s a sentiment Jim shares, and this time there\u2019s no denying the heat spreading through his body from the point where he\u2019s connected to Spock. He\u2019s got one leg pulled up under him for leverage, but he\u2019s pretty sure Spock is meeting him halfway, fingers digging into Jim\u2019s hips as he rocks into him over and over, inelegant but enthusiastic. <\/p>\n

Jim groans and slips a hand around his erection, jerks himself in the rhythm of their movements until all he feels is fire spiraling outwards from his groin and everything goes blank for a moment. It can\u2019t have been long, but when he blinks his eyes open, Spock is completely motionless behind him, albeit still buried inside him. He looks back and meets the Vulcan\u2019s curious gaze. It\u2019s the closest to an actual expression he\u2019s shown other than lust, and something inside Jim clenches. Spock looks\u2026 fascinated, and it\u2019s the most beautiful thing Jim\u2019s seen since learning that Spock survived.<\/p>\n

He\u2019s also still hard, and Jim manages a grin, rocking backwards in invitation. He\u2019s rewarded with a hiss, and then they\u2019re fucking again. Spock must have been close already when Jim came, because it takes barely more than a couple of thrusts before he spills. This time, however, he pulls out at the last moment and paints Jim\u2019s back, a feral, almost possessive look on his face, which makes Jim laugh weakly but also turns him on in spite of his body\u2019s exhaustion.<\/p>\n

Once he\u2019s done marking his territory, Spock settles back down next to Jim, presses close and rests his head on Jim\u2019s shoulder. His hands move over Jim\u2019s side in what might be considered a petting motion, and Jim\u2019s breath hitches at this small tenderness. He presses a kiss into Spock\u2019s sweat-matted hair and pulls a blanket over them both, making them as comfortable as possible for two grown men on a medbed meant for one, even if it was one rather big Klingon.<\/p>\n

Impossibly, he falls asleep. <\/p>\n

He\u2019s woken by Spock rolling on top of him, hard cock pushing into Jim\u2019s stomach, and despite his surprise Jim laughs, feeling rested and light-hearted for the first time since Spock\u2019s death. A look into the Vulcan\u2019s face, still devoid of any spark of recognition, brings a painful reminder of what\u2019s still ahead, but the weight and heat of Spock\u2019s body covering his is familiar enough, and Jim opens his legs to allow him even closer. His own dick is starting to show a renewed interest as well, and soon they\u2019re locked together, rocking back and forth until Spock stiffens and comes, collapsing top of Jim, his breath gusting hot and wet over Jim\u2019s neck.<\/p>\n

For a small eternity Jim simply lies there, on his back beneath a semi-conscious Spock, and stares down at the tousled black hair in wonder, letting his hands wander gently up and down Spock\u2019s bare back. He hadn\u2019t expected to ever get to feel this again, and it takes the urgency out of his own arousal. They don\u2019t know, after all, whether the fal-tor-pan<\/em> will work, will return Spock\u2019s katra<\/em> to its rightful vessel, and maybe this is the last chance for Jim to be this close to Spock and still hope for a happy ending.<\/p>\n

Spock stirs again, and Jim resolutely pushes those melancholic thoughts away, focusing instead on the simple physicality of turning them over. As always, Spock lets himself be positioned, and Jim has to blink a few times, oddly touched by the childlike trust. He kneels between Spock\u2019s legs and kisses him a few times, almost feeling as if Spock is responding more this time around. Kissing is not the objective, however, only a stop-over while Jim fumbles for a wet wipe from the side-table and cleans up the worst of the mess of dried-up semen and cold sweat. <\/p>\n

His ministrations are enough to coax Spock\u2019s cock into hardness again, and Jim can\u2019t help but grin. At this point it seems rather likely that Jim\u2019s own body, feeling every year of its age by now, will reach its second climax in one night in the not-too-distant future, but not even in their youth had either one of them been quite this insatiable. Still smiling, he licks a long stripe along Spock\u2019s erection before beginning to suck him off in earnest, using every trick he\u2019s ever learned, and soon Spock\u2019s hands are twisting Jim\u2019s hair painfully. Jim pulls off long enough to firmly set them over Spock\u2019s nipples, not caring whether the Vulcan does anything or just leaves them lying there, and returns to his task.<\/p>\n

Once more Spock is making quite a lot of noise, making Jim realize how silent he is the rest of the time. It\u2019s still a big turn on, and Jim lets go of Spock\u2019s balls to reach down and give himself a few good pulls. He stops before he gets too close, however, instead slipping a probing finger between Spock\u2019s ass cheeks. The Vulcan freezes immediately, making a sound that\u2019s decidedly unhappy, and Jim quickly removes the offending digit. <\/p>\n

Apparently being penetrated is not on the menu, although normally it\u2019s something they both enjoy. Maybe it\u2019s something to do with the mating instinct of the pon farr<\/em>, but Jim doesn\u2019t really care, simply goes back to using his hands on Spock\u2019s balls and lower shaft, occasionally reaching up to tease a nipple into hardness. It\u2019s not much longer before the bitter taste of semen begins to fill his mouth, Spock\u2019s whole body arching underneath his ministrations. Jim holds him down with a firm arm across his belly and swallows it all.<\/p>\n

Afterwards, Spock drifts off into what appears to be dreamless sleep, and Jim is pleased to note that the Vulcan looks much more relaxed, although his skin is still hotter than it should be. Jim uses the break to check in with the Bridge, reassured to hear that they\u2019re well on their way to Vulcan. A part of him wonders what the crew are thinking he\u2019s doing holed up in the infirmary with Spock, but he\u2019s content to let McCoy cover for them, no longer caring whether they suspect the true nature of Jim\u2019s feelings for the Vulcan. <\/p>\n

Having heard that Spock is asleep, the Doctor actually pokes his head in for a quick check-over, bringing with him water, several nutrition bars and a surprisingly gentle admonishment: \u201cWe don\u2019t know how long this lasts, so you have to make sure to eat and stay hydrated. You\u2019re not hurt, are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Jim, having covered himself hastily with a blanket, quickly drains a bottle of wonderfully cool water before answering, \u201cDon\u2019t worry, Bones. He might not be Spock<\/em>, per se, but he\u2019s not an animal.\u201d He rests a hand on Spock\u2019s bare shoulder, his thumb drawing mindless circles, and can\u2019t suppress a tender smile when Spock turns into his touch. \u201cAnd I don\u2019t think it\u2019ll be much longer, he\u2019s already so much calmer.\u201d<\/p>\n

As if to prove him wrong, however, Spock chooses this moment to wake up, carelessly dislodging the blanket Jim had thrown over him and treating McCoy to clear proof of his re-awakening ardor. Jim might have laughed at the doctor\u2019s hasty retreat if he wasn\u2019t so busy wrangling a lap-full of aroused Vulcan. <\/p>\n

He ends up on his back, Spock\u2019s erection sliding against his own, slicked by hastily applied lube, while Spock rocks back and forth, keening wordlessly. Jim spreads his legs and slides a hand between their bodies, wrapping it around their cocks. If he was younger, he\u2019s sure he\u2019d be coming right now, but as it is, he gets to enjoy the beautiful sight of Spock falling apart once again, spilling himself over Jim\u2019s fist. Afterwards he slumps down, burying his face against Jim\u2019s neck, his breath coming in short, hot bursts.<\/p>\n

Jim laughs softly and rolls the Vulcan\u2019s heavy weight to the side. He\u2019s still hard himself, and he uses Spock\u2019s recuperation period to slide first two, then three fingers inside himself, stretching and slicking himself, because now he\u2019s the one who\u2019s impatient for Spock to be back inside of him. Where he belongs<\/em>, a small voice whispers, and Jim determinedly doesn\u2019t consider the fact that this might very well be the last time he gets to do this, because even if the fal-tor-pan<\/em> works, who\u2019s to say how death might have changed Spock.<\/p>\n

Those are thoughts for later, though, and Jim leans down to suck Spock back to hardness. It doesn\u2019t take much, and soon Spock\u2019s cock is filling Jim\u2019s mouth, hips moving restlessly, but his hands almost gentle on Jim\u2019s bare shoulders. Closing his eyes and burying his nose in the familiar musk and wiry black hair, Jim gives him one last lick and considers which position would be best. In the end, however, he discards practicality in the face of his own desire to at least pretend that this is more than a physical act. He\u2019s always liked it best when they were face to face, a preference he suspected Spock shared, and not just because it made it easy to mind-meld, should they choose to do so.<\/p>\n

Now Jim opens his legs widely and fumbles to align Spock\u2019s slick cock with his well-prepared hole. As always, the Vulcan doesn\u2019t actively participate, but he does hold still while Jim arranges them, his arms framing Jim\u2019s head, his dark eyes fixed on Jim\u2019s face, until he\u2019s sheathed all the way inside Jim. Only then does he begin to move of his own accord, fucking smoothly in and out of Jim\u2019s body, sparking pleasure with every thrust until they\u2019re both grunting and moaning, until Jim can almost believe that this is just them, making love.<\/p>\n

His legs ache from being wrapped around Spock\u2019s torso, but he\u2019s too far gone to care, reduced to clutching Spock\u2019s shoulders, his cock deliciously rubbing against the lean stomach with every rocking motion, smearing it with pre-cum. Then, suddenly, Spock dips his head and clumsily pushes his lips against the corded muscles of Jim\u2019s stretched neck in what\u2019s neither a kiss nor a bite, and it\u2019s that gesture that tips Jim over the edge the next time the head of Spock\u2019s cock slides over his prostate.<\/p>\n

All through his orgasm, Spock keeps moving, but he does so gently, barely more than a soft rocking of his hips. It somehow draws out Jim\u2019s pleasure, melts his bones until he\u2019s almost senseless with it. And still Spock doesn\u2019t stop, keeps thrusting long and slow and so sweet Jim can feel tears prickle behind his eyes. He blinks them away, gathers enough of his wits to capture Spock\u2019s face in his hands, peer into those fathomless black eyes and whisper, \u201cNow, Spock, come come, t\u2019hyla<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

He can\u2019t be certain whether it\u2019s his words or the clenching of his internal muscles around Spock\u2019s erection, but the Vulcan obeys, his body stiffening and then releasing as he comes with bone-deep shudders, empties himself deep into Jim\u2019s body. This time, Spock doesn\u2019t make a sound, and for a small eternity it feels as if they\u2019re caught in a shared moment, eyes locked just as their bodies are. <\/p>\n

Then Spock\u2019s eyes slide shut and he collapses on top of Jim, who can\u2019t suppress a wince as the protest of abused muscles begins to register in his tired brain. Something tells him that this is it, that they\u2019ve made it, and with a groan he rolls Spock onto his back and gets something to wipe them both down. Then he dresses, guzzles down some water and eats a protein bar, trying to decide whether to wake Spock to do the same. However, the Vulcan is truly asleep, and Jim can\u2019t bring himself to disrupt this hard-won peace. <\/p>\n

He should probably call Bones, have him make sure the pon farr<\/em> is truly over, but for a long moment Jim simply stands next to the medbed and stares down at the familiar features, which by now look almost exactly the way they should. He reaches out and gently traces the wrinkled skin with his fingertips, indulging himself for just a minute longer before reality sets back in. <\/p>\n

This mission has cost him dearly - David, Enterprise<\/em>, probably his career - but Jim can\u2019t regret it, not when he can still feel Spock with every aching muscle of his body. Not when there\u2019s a chance that Spock will look at him again, and see<\/em>.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cI\u2019ll get Saavik down here – maybe she\u2019ll be willing to help. Too bad I didn\u2019t bring the necessary equipment to let Spock kill you again.\u201d<\/p>\n

The joke falls flat, but Jim appreciates it nonetheless. Looking up, he quickly shakes his head, steps closer to the bed and takes Spock\u2019s hand in his. He knows he\u2019s blushing, but there\u2019s no time for embarrassment, so he simply states, \u201cThat\u2026 won\u2019t be necessary.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"yes","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[276,204],"tags":[293,299,307],"series":[],"class_list":["post-1071","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kirkspock","category-star-trek","tag-audience-adult","tag-genre-slash","tag-warning-au"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1071","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1071"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1071\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1071"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1071"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1071"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=1071"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}