{"id":1250,"date":"2017-04-30T20:36:23","date_gmt":"2017-04-30T18:36:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/pr0nandchocolate.net\/shirasade\/?p=1250"},"modified":"2017-04-30T20:36:23","modified_gmt":"2017-04-30T18:36:23","slug":"and-what-he-found-there","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/and-what-he-found-there\/","title":{"rendered":"… And What He Found There"},"content":{"rendered":"
This entry is in the series Jace In Wonderland<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div>

Author's Note<\/strong>: Follows \u201cThrough the Looking Glass\u201d and \u201cDown the Rabbit Hole\u201d, bringing some resolution. An alternate version of 1x12 - \"Malec\" and bringing us to the end of season 1.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Clary and Magnus returned without Ragnor, his death lying like a shadow over the warlock. They did bring back the information that the Book of the White might hold the antidote for Jocelyn\u2019s condition. Jace tried to be glad that they\u2019d made progress, but he still felt as if he was being strangled, every breath a struggle as his thoughts kept circling viciously from Alec to his father and back again.<\/p>\n

When Izzy tracked him down, he knew it spelled trouble. She\u2019d never been one to stand by while the men she both considered brothers were at odds. He had not expected her to tell him that Alec had been asking for him on the eve of his wedding. \u201cYou don\u2019t need me to tell you that there are\u2026 unresolved issues between you, Jace, he wants them to be settled.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, Iz, I just don\u2019t know\u2026\u201d Despite his response, however, a part of Jace stubbornly began to hope that this meant Alec might reconsider. So of course he showed up. <\/p>\n

Only to curse himself for a fool when Alec stared at him in complete surprise before mumbling, \u201cDamn it, Izzy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo you didn\u2019t want to talk to me?\u201d Jace asked petulantly in spite of himself, immediately hating that it came out like an accusation. Predictably Alec didn\u2019t react positively, and Jace turned on his heel, fully intending to leave. So what if his heart was heavy, his stomach churning with nausea at the thought that the next time he saw Alec would be at his wedding<\/em>. He was the son of Valentine Morgenstern - he\u2019d lived through worse. The thought brought back echoes of Michael Wayland\u2019s voice, telling him that to love was to destroy, and Jace stopped short, suddenly certain that leaving now would destroy not only something in himself but in the bond with his parabatai. \u201cAlec, what my father said\u2026 You don\u2019t have to say anything; I just don\u2019t want it to change what we have.\u201d<\/p>\n

He couldn\u2019t quite make himself turn around, not until he heard Alec\u2019s response, which came with gratifying swiftness: \u201cNeither do I.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know how things got so messed up.\u201d The wry smile they shared lifted some of the weight from Jace\u2019s shoulders, making it possible for him to believe that maybe, just maybe they\u2019d be alright. Not completely, of course, not as long as his own treacherous heart still ached with the thought of Alec\u2019s wedding. He looked at Alec, and his hands wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch. Instead, he walked past him and sat down, burying his face in his palms. \u201cWe just got caught in all that drama.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFor what it\u2019s worth, I know how you feel.\u201d Alec joined him, his presence alone cause enough for Jace to calm down further. \u201cIt's like you know what you need to do and what your responsibilities are. And you think If you follow the rules, everything's gonna be fine.<\/em> Then somebody comes along, and... pushes you off that path.\u201d<\/p>\n

Each word from his normally taciturn parabatai reverberating in his head, Jace stared at Alec for a moment, then back at his feet, unable to face the wealth of emotions passing through those hazel eyes. \u201cI get it. And I\u2019m sorry, I never meant to be the one who\u2026 pushed you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe point is, we're Shadowhunters. Emotions get in the way. And if you get knocked off the path, you have to focus... and find your way back.\u201d Alec\u2019s voice was rough, as if he was struggling to push the words out. <\/p>\n

His meaning was clear, however, and Jace bit back a sigh. He still had to ask, though, had to be sure: \u201cAs long as this is what you really want.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is.\u201d Alec still sounded a bit conflicted, but hadn\u2019t Jace just said that he didn\u2019t want to be the one to push his parabatai? And it wasn\u2019t as if he had anything better to offer anyway. So he just nodded, even as Alec added, \u201cI\u2019m fulfilling my duty.\u201d<\/p>\n

He got up decisively, looking down at Jace, who hoped his face wasn\u2019t betraying the pain he was feeling, which only increased when Alec asked him to be his suggenes<\/em>. For a long moment Jace didn\u2019t know how Alec could ask this of him, if he could bear having to stand witness to an event that he wanted to stop with every fibre of his being. In the end, however, there was only one answer if he wanted to salvage their bond, and he replied firmly, \u201cI\u2019d be honored. I\u2019ll always be here for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe too.\u201d Alec held out his hand to seal the promise, but the moment their hands touched, Jace knew it wasn\u2019t enough. Impulsively, he pulled Alec into a tight hug, sighing in relief when his parabatai responded immediately, arms coming up to embrace Jace. They fit together with the same perfect ease as always, and Jace buried his face against Alec\u2019s neck and just breathed for a moment. He could do this. He could stand next to Alec on the dais when his parabatai bound himself to Lydia Branwell. He had to.<\/p>\n

However, when the moment came, it was all Jace could do not to throw up. His fingers, which had unerringly thrown knives since he was 8 years old, trembled when he righted Alec\u2019s bowtie and straightened the lapels of his suit jacket. Alec looked almost as nervous, but he sounded genuinely grateful when he said, \u201cI\u2019m glad you\u2019re here with me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWouldn\u2019t be anywhere else.\u201d It was both a lie and the complete truth, and Jace\u2019s hands came to rest against Alec\u2019s neck, squeezing lightly. Alec blushed, meeting his eyes, and their bodies swayed towards each other until Jace shook himself and took a step back. He was actually relieved when Brother Jeremiah called the wedding party to order, but when Lydia appeared, looking beautiful and collected, a low buzzing seemed to start in his head, drowning out everything else.<\/p>\n

He almost missed his cue, his hands white-knuckling the pillow with the necklace. Then Alec\u2019s hands appeared in his line of vision, golden bracelet already dangling off his wrist, and suddenly Jace felt as if he couldn\u2019t breathe. He looked up, and their eyes locked, Alec\u2019s widening as he obviously took in at least some of the turmoil Jace was drowning in.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlec\u2026\u201d It was barely more than a whisper, escaping Jace unbidden, but Alec froze, hands hovering over the pillow Jace was still holding. They stared at each other, Jace completely at a loss as to why he had spoken and what to do next. <\/p>\n

It was Lydia who broke the moment, touching Alec gently and forcing his attention away from Jace. \u201cHey, Alec. It\u2019s okay.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it\u2019s not.\u201d Alec\u2019s laugh sounded hollow, and Jace almost reached out, only to pull back, scared out of his wits. He was caught, trapped between his instinct and his training as a Shadowhunter, just like Alec, who was visibly struggling for breath. \u201cBut\u2026 I can\u2019t do this. I thought we were doing the right thing, but this isn\u2019t it. Lydia, I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jace gaped in shock, mind racing, barely hearing Lydia\u2019s gracious response, and he only noticed he had moved when he heard a collective gasp from the audience. Alec, too, was staring at him, only not at his face but at the hand Jace had wrapped around his parabatai\u2019s wrist. Under his thumb he could feel Alec\u2019s pulse racing, and he almost pulled back, his brain already presenting him with a million ways to play this off. Except then Alec looked up, and mixed into the fear and disbelief in his eyes Jace saw the tiniest sliver of hope. <\/p>\n

It made Jace\u2019s decision for him, and when he leaned in, Alec met him half-way. <\/p>\n

Their mouths collided, hesitating and awkward at first, only to turn into something altogether different. The world disappeared in the heat of Alec\u2019s lips, the grip of his hands holding Jace to him as if to stop him from disappearing, Jace\u2019s own fingers sliding up to tangle in the short hair at the back of Alec\u2019s neck. They came up for air but fell back into each other, right until they were yanked apart unceremoniously by Alec\u2019s parents.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the hell are you thinking?\u201d Maryse hissed, her features an ugly mask of shock and disgust, and a quick look around showed similar expressions on most faces. Even Izzy and Clary were staring at them, obviously as blind-sided as everyone else. The only notable exception was Simon, who was watching with something very close to glee, probably completely unaware of the greater ramifications.<\/p>\n

Alec made a noise like a wounded animal, and Jace\u2019s attention at once snapped back to him, nothing else mattering. His parabatai seemed smaller than anyone of his size had any right to, skin ashen as he faced his parents\u2019 disapproval. Ignoring their protests, Jace shook off Robert\u2019s hand on his arm to go to him, gripping his shoulder in what he hoped was a reassuring manner. Determinedly he turned to the people who\u2019d raised him, although his voice was hoarse as he blurted out, \u201cIt\u2019s my fault. If you want to blame someone, blame me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. No, Jace, this one\u2019s on both of us.\u201d The fierceness in Alec\u2019s eyes when he covered Jace\u2019s hand with his own washed over Jace like an embrace. Squaring his shoulders, Alec faced his parents again. \u201cWe know the Law, and we\u2019re prepared to accept the consequences.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jace barely suppressed an exasperated eyeroll at this expected reaction from his parabatai. Not that it seemed to impress Maryse, whose fury appeared unabated, although Jace could tell it was at least partly fueled by confusion. \u201cYou have humiliated and dishonored us! You\u2019re lucky if you\u2019re only...\u201d<\/p>\n

She would doubtlessly have continued telling them in excruciating detail about the punishments for their crime, but a studiously light voice interrupted her: \u201cOh my, seems I\u2019ve come at an inopportune time.\u201d Magnus Bane was standing there, shrewd eyes taking the scene in front of him and doubtlessly drawing his own mostly correct conclusions. \u201cDo you think you could postpone this\u2026 excitement until after we\u2019ve found the Book of the White and defeated Valentine?\u201d<\/p>\n

Relief washing over him, Jace silently apologized to the warlock for any negative thing he\u2019d ever thought about him. With a few choice words he\u2019d bought them time; time to figure out how to deal with the repercussions of their actions, time to tell Alec about the other world, the one that had opened Jace\u2019s eyes and led them to this moment. Maybe even time to see if their bodies would fit together as perfectly here as they had there. <\/p>\n

Following Magnus, they easily fell into step beside one another, hands brushing lightly. Despite knowing that they\u2019d only postponed the inevitable, Jace remembered their motto and couldn't help but smirk a little. As attuned to his parabatai as always, Alec nudged him, shotting him a questioning glance.<\/p>\n

\u201cFacilis descensus averno,\u201d he explained in a whisper, and understanding dawned on Alec\u2019s face. Sharing a small, conspiring smile, they joined the others at the table, standing close enough to feel one another\u2019s body heat. No matter what happened, they would not be broken.<\/p>\n

A day later Jace was looking back at his desperate parabatai, trying to convey the same sentiment without words as he let himself be led away by Valentine\u2019s men.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Shorter than the others (and I'm not altogether happy with it, truth be told), but I thought this was a good place for a break. I do have some ideas for my version of season 2 already. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This entry is in the series Jace In Wonderland<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div>

Can Jace handle Alec's wedding?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"yes","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[228,197],"tags":[296,299,307],"series":[318],"class_list":["post-1250","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-alec-lightwoodjace-wayland","category-shadowhunters","tag-genre-gen","tag-genre-slash","tag-warning-au","series-jace-in-wonderland"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1250","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1250"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1250\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1250"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1250"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1250"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=1250"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}