{"id":1273,"date":"2017-05-27T21:29:26","date_gmt":"2017-05-27T19:29:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/pr0nandchocolate.net\/shirasade\/?p=1273"},"modified":"2017-05-27T21:29:26","modified_gmt":"2017-05-27T19:29:26","slug":"confessions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/confessions\/","title":{"rendered":"Confessions"},"content":{"rendered":"
This entry is in the series Shadowhunter AUs<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div>

Author's Note<\/strong>: Canon-divergent ficlet set after Jace asks Alec to be his parabatai, written for Jalec Spring Break<\/a>, day 6 - teenage Jalec.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Jace, but I can\u2019t.\u201d Although Alec had practised saying the words, they still stuck in his throat like glue. It had been bad enough telling Jace that he needed time to think, but that was nothing compared to the look of utter incomprehension and betrayal etched onto his friend\u2019s face now. It felt like a ring of steel tightening around his chest, making it hard to breathe, and Alec barely managed to continue in a strangled voice, \u201cI\u2019m honored you asked me, but I just\u2026 can\u2019t. I can\u2019t be your parabatai. I\u2019m so, so sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

His usually so confident demeanor wiped away, Jace asked accusatorily, in a hoarse half-whisper, \u201cBut, Alec\u2026 why<\/em>? I thought we agreed that we\u2019d make a great team. You said we were family<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe are! Jace, it has nothing to do with you - anyone would be lucky to have you as their parabatai, and you know it,\u201d Alec replied without hesitation, hoping against hope that Jace would be satisfied with his sincerity. One glance at his friend\u2019s face told him that he hadn\u2019t succeeded, anger beginning to replace hurt. He added reluctantly, \u201cIt\u2019s me<\/em>. I\u2019m not fit to be your parabatai. If you knew... you would never have asked me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlec, you\u2019re talking complete bullshit! You\u2019re the most honorable person I know, and the only one I\u2019d want to be my parabatai,\u201d Jace protested with a vehemence that Alec couldn\u2019t help but find gratifying, although it also made him feel like a complete fraud. It got worse as Jace continued more quietly, \u201cYou know what my dad taught me about emotions, about love. But I can\u2019t believe that what we have is weakness - being together only makes us stronger.\u201d<\/p>\n

Had Jace just said that he loved him? Alec swallowed, his heart so heavy in his chest he wondered whether it was going to fall out. The only thing he knew for certain was that losing the boy looking at him with those mismatched eyes was inacceptable. \u201cWhen did you get so eloquent?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust needed the right incentive - and apparently convincing my future parabatai to stop being fucking stupid<\/em> counts,\u201d Jace replied with a quirk of his mouth that resembled his usual cocky smirk, making it impossible for Alec not to smile back, even if it was still a bit weak. \u201cSee, that\u2019s better. Just say yes, Alexander Gideon Lightwood - we\u2019ll be brilliant, you\u2019ll see!\u201d<\/p>\n

Looking into Jace\u2019s relieved face, the word hovered on the tip of Alec\u2019s tongue. It wasn\u2019t as if Jace would ever love him back, not the way he wanted him to, so the law against parabatai falling in love didn\u2019t apply. And Jace was right, they would be great together, and Alec could be happy being Jace\u2019s parabatai, his brother in arms. <\/p>\n

Right then, however, Jace licked his lips, and Alec involuntarily tracked the thoughtless movement. He cursed inwardly - who was he trying to kid? He\u2019d never stop wanting Jace this way. Setting his shoulders, he blurted out desperately, \u201cI can\u2019t... Jace, you don\u2019t understand - I love you!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, so?\u201d Jace appeared completely unfazed, confusing Alec who\u2019d expected shock, maybe even disgust. \u201cI love you, too, or I wouldn\u2019t have asked you to be my parabatai. Didn\u2019t you listen to my speech just now?\u201d<\/p>\n

It was Alec\u2019s turn to stare, torn between bitter laughter and exasperation at Jace\u2019s obtuseness. Finally he bit out, \u201cI don\u2019t mean that kind of love. I mean the kind that gets you deruned and exiled.\u201d<\/p>\n

This time there was no possible way for Jace to misunderstand him, and Alec watched with bated breath as the penny dropped. A wealth of emotion flickered over the familiar features, too quickly for Alec to pinpoint, but he certainly did not expect the soft \u201cOh\u201d that escaped Jace, nor the hands cupping his face. Jace\u2019s eyes were boring into Alec\u2019s with an intensity that was unsettling, and then his lips curled into the sweetest smile Alec had ever seen. It made him feel lightheaded, even before he took in Jace\u2019s sincere words: \u201cAlec, I don\u2019t care. You\u2019re the most important person in the world to me, and I want you to be my parabatai, the Law be damned.\u201d<\/p>\n

With that Jace released his grip on Alec, and he had to catch himself from swaying on wobbly legs. He knew he should protest, that all his reasons were still valid and that the Clave most certainly wouldn\u2019t agree with Jace should they ever find out. However, Jace was regarding him with so much vulnerability, so much love<\/em>, everything else seemed to fade into inconsequence. <\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, alright, you win. I will be your parabatai, Jace Wayland! Someone needs to keep you out of trouble, after all.\u201d Laughing helplessly Alec opened his arms, suddenly feeling almost weightless as Jace stepped into his embrace without hesitation, strong arms wrapping around him as if nothing had changed.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust accept that I\u2019m always right, your life will be so much easier!\u201d Jace\u2019s voice was dancing with warm amusement, and Alec closed his eyes and just breathed. They would be parabatai, and it would be enough. The next moment, however, he froze in shock when two lips pressed against his neck, followed by a low whisper into his ear: \u201cBy the way, I\u2019m in love with you, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This entry is in the series Shadowhunter AUs<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div>

A teen!Jalec AU.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"yes","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[228,197],"tags":[294,299,307],"series":[325],"class_list":["post-1273","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-alec-lightwoodjace-wayland","category-shadowhunters","tag-audience-all","tag-genre-slash","tag-warning-au","series-shadowhunter-aus"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1273","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1273"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1273\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1273"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1273"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1273"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=1273"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}