{"id":1921,"date":"2018-09-29T08:10:06","date_gmt":"2018-09-29T06:10:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/?p=1921"},"modified":"2018-09-29T08:13:02","modified_gmt":"2018-09-29T06:13:02","slug":"where-the-dark-has-no-room-to-touch","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/where-the-dark-has-no-room-to-touch\/","title":{"rendered":"where the dark has no room to touch"},"content":{"rendered":"
This entry is in the series Shadowhunter AUs<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div>

Author's Note<\/strong>: Gift exchange fic<\/a> for the lovely Phoe<\/a>. I tried my best to fulfill your requests, hun - hope you enjoy this!<\/p>\n

(Preferences (prompts, kinks) were: winged Nephilim, if explicit then please top!Alec\/bottom!Jace, BDSM if you like (dom!Alec\/sub!Jace), hurt\/comfort because don't we all deserve some comfort after 3A, ABOverse if that's up your alley (alpha!Alec\/omega!Jace))<\/small><\/p>\n

Title from a gorgeous poem<\/a> by Abby S.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

It was almost midnight, and Alec felt Jace\u2019s return shortly before the Institute\u2019s sensors registered two Shadowhunters landing on the roof. <\/p>\n

Therefore he was the one to greet Jace and Clary, quickly taking in how tired his parabatai looked, even as he steadied the redhead. Clary seemed worse off, struggling to even fold away her wings, but she was back to herself as far as Alec could tell at a glance. They\u2019d gotten news of Jonathan\u2019s death, and he found himself glad to see Clary apparently in one piece. <\/p>\n

Still, his focus quickly shifted back to Jace, automatically cataloguing every scrape and bruise visible on his too-pale skin. The most obvious sign of the ordeals his parabatai had been through recently, however, was the look in his eyes, which spoke of an exhaustion that went far beyond the physical.<\/p>\n

Despite wanting nothing more than to embrace his parabatai, Alec decided that would have to wait and quickly relieved him of Clary\u2019s slight weight. Taking out his stele, he used it to make her wings disappear, glad he even remembered the rune. It was so rare that Nephilim were too injured to fold them away themselves, once they\u2019d learned how after the Angel\u2019s gift manifested itself during puberty. <\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Alec,\u201d the redhead mumbled, leaning against him. Just then Isabelle burst onto the roof, and Alec had to watch her hug Jace tightly, surprising himself by the surge of resentment he felt. However, the next moment his sister was pulling Clary away from him. <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s so good to have you back. Now, let\u2019s get you checked over,\u201d Izzy said gently, and Clary almost collapsed against her. Isabelle didn\u2019t stumble, just braced herself and led the redhead inside with a look at Alec that he didn\u2019t even attempt to decipher. <\/p>\n

Instead he finally did what he\u2019d been dying to ever since the bond had alerted him of his parabatai\u2019s approach and opened his arms. Jace remained rooted to the spot, however, shoulders hunched over as if he was trying to disappear, eyes flickering uncertainly between Alec\u2019s face and his chest. <\/p>\n

It was obvious guilt was eating at Jace, and it made Alec\u2019s stomach hurt to see his normally so proud parabatai looking so small, so defeated, despite having achieved his objective to find and return Clary. Alec was probably the only person on this planet who\u2019d even come close to seeing Jace this vulnerable before, and now he approached Jace slowly, carefully, like he would a wild animal. He didn\u2019t know what to say, so in the end he settled on the one word that came even close to expressing the wealth of emotions he felt. \u201cParabatai<\/em>\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Jace\u2019s eyes had always been his most expressive feature, and now they lit up - not literally, but it was the signal Alec needed to close the remaining distance between them and pull his parabatai into his arms. Jace folded himself into his embrace, arms coming up to cling to Alec as if he was drowning and Alec was the only thing keeping him afloat. Something inside Alec melted, something that had been cold and dark ever since they discovered what Lilith had done to his parabatai, and he buried his face in Jace\u2019s hair and allowed himself to just breathe.<\/p>\n

How long they remained like this Alec wasn\u2019t sure, but after a while Jace started to shiver, reminding Alec that he had no idea how long Clary and Jace had been flying in through the cold night after who knew what ordeals. Taking a step back, he began rubbing Jace\u2019s arms in a business-like fashion, quelling the protest he could see form on his parabatai\u2019s lips with his best Head-of-the-Institute glare. <\/p>\n

\u201cNo, don\u2019t even pretend that you\u2019re okay. Do you think you have any injuries that need to be dealt with in the infirmary?\u201d When Jace shook his head silently, Alec continued quickly, \u201cAlright, so I\u2019ll just look you over while we run you a bath, after which you\u2019ll get a good night\u2019s sleep - even if I have to use a rune to put you under!\u201d<\/p>\n

He knew he was fussing, but the fact that Jace wasn\u2019t rebelling told him that this was the right course of action. Not just for Jace; Alec\u2019s every instinct also demanded that he make sure his parabatai was alright. They\u2019d never been separated for this long in all their years as parabatai, and he suspected that Jace shared his need to reaffirm their bond. His assumptions were confirmed when Jace lifted a shaking hand and pressed it against Alec\u2019s chest. \u201cAlright - as long as I can have a look at you, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

Alec wanted to reassure him that there was no need, that he was fine, but he knew Jace needed to see for himself, so he simply nodded, managing a smile that felt almost normal on his face. \u201cSure. We can make it a proper grooming session - Izzy\u2019s been helping me, but you know how cold her hands are.\u201d<\/p>\n

They shared a laugh, and Alec felt himself relax a bit further as they made their way inside, although he remained hyper-aware of his parabatai\u2019s proximity. It was probably going to take a while until he could take Jace\u2019s presence for granted again. For the time being he was content to trail after him until they reached Jace\u2019s room. Outside it, Jace hesitated, a terrified look flickering across his face, and it took Alec only a moment to rest a hand on his shoulder and suggest mock-casually, \u201cWhy don\u2019t we use my bath - it\u2019s bigger anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n

Not every Shadowhunter enjoyed the luxury of their own bath, but rank brought privilege, and both the Herondale heir and the Head of the Institute didn\u2019t need to use the communal facilities, something for which Alec had never been more grateful than now. Jace\u2019s bedroom obviously held bad memories, and Alec made a mental note to offer him another accommodation as soon as possible. Maybe until then they would simply swap rooms, but clean-up came first, then Alec would find a way to casually suggest this. He didn\u2019t want Jace to think that he was being coddled, even if in truth Alec wanted nothing more than to wrap his parabatai in cotton wool so nothing could hurt him ever again.<\/p>\n

They made their way to Alec\u2019s room in silence. It wasn\u2019t uncomfortable, although Alec had to hold back a barrage of questions. Instead he focused on the fact that Jace was there<\/em>, right beside him, their bond stronger than it had been since\u2026 since Lake Lyn. At first because of Lilith, then because of the physical separation, and Alec\u2019s fingers twitched with the desire to reach out and touch. <\/p>\n

Soon.<\/em> They had reached their destination, so he told himself to be patient just a bit longer and busied himself by offering Jace a towel and directing him to the bathroom, as if his parabatai didn\u2019t know exactly where everything was. It had been his room, after all, albeit only for a short while, and they\u2019d always had an open door policy for each other. Jace didn\u2019t call him on it, however, just thanked him and started casually shedding his clothes.<\/p>\n

It was refreshingly familiar, and Alec caught himself watching his parabatai with a wistful smile. Jace caught his eye and smirked, making Alec blush despite himself. He gestured at the dirty clothes on the floor and admonished with forced nonchalance, \u201cSome things never change. The hamper\u2019s right over there.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jace cocked an eyebrow but didn\u2019t call him out on the transparent attempt to cover. After all, Jace was the consummate soldier and as such just as neat as Alec. It was a small gesture, but it warmed Alec from the inside, and he quickly turned away to follow Jace\u2019s example and efficiently strip down to his underwear. This added to the sense of d\u00e9ja-vu, reminding Alec of being a hormonal teenager hopelessly in love with his parabatai and doing his best not to show it.<\/p>\n

When he turned back, he found Jace watched him from hooded eyes, gaze roaming across Alec\u2019s skin, doubtlessly to see whether Alec was still bearing marks from his fight with the owl. For which Jace probably still blamed himself, making Alec doubly glad that both his hand and his chest were completely healed. Smiling softly, he offered, \u201cSee, I\u2019m alright. The Silent Brothers and Catarina Loss did a great job.\u201d<\/p>\n

He\u2019d hoped this would lighten his parabatai\u2019s mood somewhat. Instead, Jace bit his lip and looked to the ground wretchedly. \u201cThey wouldn\u2019t have had to if Magnus hadn\u2019t given up his magic. How\u2026 how is he?\u201d<\/p>\n

Alec wanted to slap himself. Of course Jace would remember the sacrifice Magnus had made for him. Quickly crossing the distance between them, he forced Jace to look at him with a finger under his chin. \u201cMagnus is fine. I\u2019m sorry, I thought you\u2019d been told, but there was so much going on\u2026 We got his magic back. It wasn\u2019t easy, but he\u2019s at full strength again - which should be useful when we go after Lilith\u2019s demons. Izzy was even talking about asking Clary whether there would be a way for Shadowhunters and Downworlders to join powers in battle.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, that\u2019s\u2026 that\u2019s great,\u201d Jace replied with honest relief, but there was a shadow in his eyes that Alec couldn\u2019t quite explain. Was it the mention of Lilith? He didn\u2019t get a chance to probe, however, because Jace stepped away decisively and motioned to the bathroom. \u201cCome on, I was promised a bath and a grooming session.\u201d<\/p>\n

His levity was obviously forced, yet Alec decided to let it go. It was late, getting Jace clean and off to bed had priority now. As much as he wished otherwise, Jonathan\u2019s death and Clary and Jace\u2019s return was only the first step. They still had a war to fight, and Alec wanted - no, needed<\/em> his parabatai by his side. Therefore he mirrored Jace\u2019s smile with a nod and an inviting gesture. \u201cOf course. After you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Quickly grabbing his stele as well as a cereal bar from the stash in his nightstand, he followed Jace, who\u2019d started the water running. The room was already starting to warm up, and Alec motioned for Jace to sit on the ledge of the tub. Offering him the snack, he waved his stele and ordered, \u201cEat while I make sure you really don\u2019t require medical attention. I bet you\u2019ve been using your nourishment<\/em> rune rather than eating real food.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jace made a face but obeyed, which told Alec that he\u2019d been right. In a way he was relieved that apparently some things never changed, that he was still able to read his parabatai. Who also had the bad habit of minimizing his injuries, so Alec checked him thoroughly while Jace munched his snack. Finally, he was satisfied that for once Jace hadn\u2019t exaggerated his state of health and put his stele aside. <\/p>\n

\u201cTold you,\u201d Jace grumbled, but Alec paid him no mind. <\/p>\n

The tub was almost full now, warm water inviting even to Alec, who\u2019d showered after training that evening. Alec didn\u2019t care that he probably sounded like a nursemaid when he ordered, \u201cC\u2019mon, get in.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jace had been eyeing the tub covetously, so Alec wasn\u2019t surprised when he didn\u2019t put up even a token protest. Instead he unceremoniously slipped out of his briefs and into the water. The sound he made was almost pornographic, and Alec snorted in amusement, before busying himself by getting out his grooming kit. <\/p>\n

\u201cYou have no idea how good this feels,\u201d Jace commented with a laugh, generously lathering himself with Alec\u2019s soap and shampoo. \u201cI haven\u2019t been clean in\u2026 well, too long. There was just one time, when Clary and I got a hotel room with a shower.\u201d<\/p>\n

For the first time since his return he sounded carefree, and Alec bit back the question prompted by the volunteered information. Why the hell should he care if Jace and Clary had shared said shower? If anything he should hope that they had, that his parabatai and the girl he loved had found some happiness in the middle of all their troubles. He was not<\/em> going back down that road.<\/p>\n

Instead he smiled and brandished the grooming supplies, glad that Jace was too distracted to notice the pause before he answered, \u201cWell, you\u2019re about to get even cleaner. Dry off and sit here, so I can take care of your wings.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, please!\u201d The speed with which Jace got out of the tub would have been funny if Alec hadn\u2019t still been caught up in the realization that his old jealousy had apparently decided to make a reappearance. It made it hard to look away from Jace\u2019s naked body, unselfconsciously on display, all muscle and smooth, golden skin, only accentuated by the many runes adorning it. <\/p>\n

Digging the nails of his free hand into his palm, Alec used the sharp pain to center himself, tearing his eyes away from the firm globes of Jace\u2019s ass just in time. Wrapping the towel around himself, Jace turned to him and sat down on the low stool that was situated in front of a big mirror for when there was no other option than self-grooming. <\/p>\n

It had been too long since he\u2019d shared this ritual with his parabatai, and, swallowing, Alec pushed down the unwelcome thoughts and focused on the task at hand. In the mirror, Jace met his eyes, smiling with anticipation, and it was surprisingly easy to respond in kind, especially when Jace shrugged his shoulders and unfolded his wings.<\/p>\n

They appeared between his shoulder blades, two huge wings made of white feathers with golden accents, big enough to touch the floor and so wide they created something like a cocoon around Alec. Their beauty never failed to take his breath away, and as always he didn\u2019t start grooming right away, instead lifting his hand and trailing it softly along the top edge, smiling when a shiver of pure pleasure ran through Jace at the simple caress.<\/p>\n

\u201cAngel, I missed this,\u201d he breathed out almost reverentially, and Alec could only agree. <\/p>\n

For another minute he allowed himself to enjoy the feeling of feathers between his fingers, so deceptively soft in spite of their flexibility and strength, powerful enough to carry a full-grown man through the sky. Then he stopped, grinning when Jace pouted. \u201cI can pet you more later, you big puppy, right now we need to get these clean.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I know - we didn\u2019t have the time or tools for it,\u201d Jace assented, spreading his wings out as much as possible in order to give Alec access to their full width. Winking at Alec in the mirror, he added conspiratorially, \u201cClary really isn\u2019t any good at it anyway. You know you\u2019re my favorite, Alec.\u201d<\/p>\n

Again, Alec had to push down a surge of jealousy, feeling unreasonably possessive at the thought of someone else grooming his parabatai, which was stupid, because both him and Jace had groomed and been groomed by Izzy regularly for most of their lives as well as other Shadowhunters at times. It felt different when it was Clary, though, and Alec decidedly didn\u2019t think of the many opportunities when he\u2019d turned down Magnus\u2019s offer to perform this task for him.<\/p>\n

\u201cSame here,\u201d he managed to respond, giving Jace a quick smile before taking out the first brush from the grooming kit and beginning to comb out the worst of the dirt and snags. The task kept his hands occupied and forced him to focus on something else than the bliss spreading on Jace\u2019s face. He didn\u2019t even seem to care when the brush caught on something, his wincing barely visible, but Alec nevertheless tried to be as gentle as possible.<\/p>\n

Putting aside the brush, he opened the jar of oil and coated his hands with it. This was his favorite part of the process, when he got to touch Jace\u2019s feathers from top to bottom, running his bare hands through them thoroughly. In front of him, Jace let his head fall forward, sparing Alec from seeing his face. The sounds he made were bad enough, rough moans that caused Alec\u2019s blood to rush downwards. <\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t the first occasion this had happened, not by far, yet somehow it was worse this time. Alec blamed it on their separation and on the pull he could feel from the bond, Jace\u2019s pleasure bleeding through. Outside of battle, this was when their connection was the closest, the most open, and it took Alec had to exert quite a bit of willpower to stop his fingers from moving from wings to bare skin.<\/p>\n

Instead he wiped his hands off and took up the strigil, used to scrape off the oil and with it the last of the dirt. Using water on wings wasn\u2019t ideal, leaving them soggy for hours unless one blow dried them for ages, so Shadowhunters had returned to ancient Roman customs when it came to grooming. Alec had performed this so often, the motions were instinctual by now, and he lost himself in the rhythm of it, systematically working through Jace\u2019s feathers. <\/p>\n

This was the easiest way for Alec to find peace of mind without a bow in his hand, and when he was done, he came out of the semi-trance he\u2019d been in to find Jace watching his reflection with calm, thoughtful eyes. The moment their eyes met, however, Jace shook himself slightly and gave Alec a fond smile. \u201cI forgot how you get when you do this\u2026 Seriously, there better never be a demon attack while we\u2019re doing this, because I swear we\u2019d both miss it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAt least you admit that you get distracted as well,\u201d Alec shot back, falling into their usual banter. Setting aside the strigil, Alec picked up the fine brush in order to finish the ritual. If Jace\u2019s wings had been beautiful before, now they were radiant, literally gleaming in the light, their golden accents glittering. White wings were rare, but Alec hadn\u2019t been surprised at all when Jace\u2019s had manifested.<\/p>\n

Giving the feathers, once more pristine and perfect, one last brush over, Alec smiled with satisfaction at Jace\u2019s reflection. \u201cThat\u2019s better.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you,\u201d Jace replied sincerely before folding his wings away, leaving Alec feeling suddenly exposed after having been mostly enveloped by the wide spans for the duration of the grooming. Swiveling around on the stool, Jace pointed at him with a challenging grin. \u201cYour turn now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWha? No, no, that\u2019s not necessary,\u201d Alec stuttered, blind-sided although he\u2019d known this was coming. He also wasn\u2019t quite sure where this instinctive denial came from. As a rule he loved it when Jace groomed his wings, yet right now the thought of it threatened to overwhelm him. It was too much, too intimate, but he could tell from the determined look in Jace\u2019s eyes that he wouldn\u2019t take no for an answer, even as he protested, \u201cYou really should get some rest now, we can do mine tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNope, we\u2019re doing this now. We had a deal, remember?\u201d Jace said flatly, getting to his feet in order to push Alec onto the seat he\u2019d just vacated. Accepting his fate, Alec let himself be manhandled, telling himself to stop being ridiculous. This was good. This was great, even, this rebuilding of their connection, long overdue and very necessary. Behind him he caught Jace grinning smugly, and with a sigh Alec unfolded his wings.<\/p>\n

He should have expected it; however, when Jace lifted a hand and carefully trailed it over his feathers, Alec couldn\u2019t suppress a gasp. In the mirror he could see Jace pause, eyes flicking to Alec before he turned his attention back to the night-black expanse with its reddish-brown highlights. When he pressed his palm between Alec\u2019s shoulder blades, where his wings protruded, Alec shuddered, his eyes sliding shut. <\/p>\n

A gust of warm air hit his skin, and he wondered whether Jace had leaned forward, maybe to inspect the spot from up close, but he didn\u2019t dare to look. He was afraid what his parabatai would read in his eyes, so he kept them closed and tried to breathe normally. Another soft exhalation, raising goosebumps all over Alec\u2019s bare skin, then Jace murmured oh-so softly, \u201cAlways so sensitive\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Power surged through him, and Alec\u2019s eyes snapped open, taking in the sight of him sitting in front of the mirror, black wings spread out behind him, surrounding the golden form of his parabatai. Literally golden<\/em>, because Jace had activated his angelic powers and was glowing - and so was Alec, which explained the strength and healing he could feel flowing through his veins.<\/p>\n

\u201cJace, what are you doing?\u201d He meant the question to come out sternly, instead he sounded breathless, awe-struck, wide eyes wandering between his glowing runes and his parabatai\u2019s golden eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cI just wanted to make sure I didn\u2019t leave any permanent damage,\u201d Jace admitted, biting his lip as the golden light disappeared again. He was blushing, but when he caught Alec\u2019s gaze he held it stubbornly. A wave of affection surged through Alec, and he found himself smiling up at Jace with a fondness that felt dangerous.<\/p>\n

Clearing his throat, he said hoarsely, \u201cYou<\/em> didn\u2019t leave any damage - and neither did the owl.\u201d<\/p>\n

When Jace didn\u2019t look particularly convinced, Alec shook his head in exasperation and brought in his wings so he could swivel around on the stool and face him directly. He didn\u2019t think Jace would bolt, but to make sure he caught him by the wrist, felt his pulse fluttering against his fingers, confirming the anxiety Alec could sense through their bond. As much as he wished that Jace wouldn\u2019t be wracked with this guilt, he couldn\u2019t help but be relieved to have tangible proof that his parabatai was alive and that their connection had survived, as strong as ever. <\/p>\n

\u201cHe wasn\u2019t you,\u201d Alec repeated what he\u2019d said so many times before, fixing Jace with a firm gaze, hoping that this time he would believe him. Lifting his free hand, he rested it against Jace\u2019s parabatai rune, which was peeking out from his towel, and added softly, \u201cThis<\/em> is you. I can feel it, and I\u2019m sorry I didn\u2019t recognize the difference before.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?!\u201d Jace scoffed, eyes widening with disbelief. \u201cYou tried so many times to get me to admit that something was wrong. If I hadn\u2019t kept lying, maybe we would have found a way to stop it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe,\u201d Alec admitted with a sigh, \u201cbut maybe not - we did try, after all, and it took Magnus striking a bargain with his father to do it. There\u2019s really no use in torturing ourselves with what-ifs, Jace. I\u2026\u201d Alec averted his eyes, his voice dropping as he confessed, \u201cI\u2019m just so glad to have you back. Without you\u2026 without you I\u2019m nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow that\u2019s bullshit,\u201d Jace replied immediately, voice hoarse and eyes glistening with emotion. \u201cYou could never be nothing, Alec Lightwood.\u201d<\/p>\n

Heart beating in his throat, Alec shook his head and amended quietly, \u201cAlright, maybe not nothing<\/em> - but I\u2019m not myself without you. You\u2019re the strongest person I know, Jace, and I was so damn scared you wouldn\u2019t come back this time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo was I, for a while,\u201d Jace admitted in barely more than whisper, and Alec knew they both remembered the weight of a dagger that had seemed all too real despite being unsubstantial. Jace swallowed, leaning down to rest his forehead against Alec\u2019s as he whispered, \u201cI never thanked you for coming for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t have to thank me.\u201d Alec realized his hand was still pressed against Jace\u2019s bare flank, yet instead of removing it, as he probably should, he found himself rubbing his thumb over the black lines of the parabatai rune. \u201cWe\u2019ll always come for each other, you and I - after all, if aught but death<\/em>...\u201d<\/p>\n

Jace\u2019s abs contracted as took a sharp breath, only to release it in a gust of warmth that fanned across Alec\u2019s face before he continued the oath that was so fundamentally a part of who they were: \u201c...part thee and me. Alec<\/em>...\u201d<\/p>\n

He trailed off, one hand coming to rest on Alec\u2019s shoulder with the weight of a decade\u2019s history, and the world narrowed down to the two of them in their little cocoon. They were standing so closely, Alec could barely meet Jace\u2019s eyes, and he would never be able to tell who shifted first, whose lips pressed against the other\u2019s as if it was the most natural thing in the world.<\/p>\n

There was no hesitation, just a sigh that could have originated from either one of them, and then Alec\u2019s free hand slid into Jace\u2019s damp hair while Jace\u2019s fingers found the base of his still-extended wings, sending delicate tendrils of pleasure through him. The kiss deepened and their tongues tangled, and joy and contentment surged through their bond as they became more passionately entwined.<\/p>\n

Alec was completely lost in the sensation, his right hand moving around Jace\u2019s waist, pulling him closer into the open V of his legs. There was no room for thought, for doubt, just for feeling, so when Jace tore himself away, Alec almost lost his balance, staring up into Jace\u2019s flushed face, his kiss-swollen lips, his eyes boring into Alec\u2019s with wide-eyed shock. He<\/em>\u2019d done that, made Jace come undone with barely more than a kiss, and the knowledge was so overwhelming, it took Alec a moment to gather his wits enough to ask hoarsely, \u201cWhat is it? What\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWrong?\u201d Jace had to clear his throat, and when he took a step away, Alec felt suddenly cold. Wrapping his hands around himself, he wondered if he\u2019d misread the situation. Did Jace not want this as much as he did? Looking utterly miserable, Jace bit his lip. \u201cAlec\u2026 we can\u2019t do this. You know we can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Law?\u201d Alec knew he sounded disbelieving, but it struck him as entirely unlikely that his parabatai of all people would have qualms because of an antiquated piece of legislation from a ruling body they both no longer quite believed in. Except, maybe that wasn\u2019t what Jace had meant at all, and Alec averted his eyes guiltily. \u201cOr... is it Clary? I\u2019m sorry, I didn\u2019t want...\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cClary?\u201d Jace replied confusedly, as if the thought had never even occurred to him. \u201cClary and I aren\u2019t together - not anymore. After everything, it just\u2026 it didn\u2019t feel right, for either one of us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen what?\u201d Alec knew he was staring, gobsmacked. He was obviously missing something, because he could have sworn that nothing had ever felt quite as right as kissing Jace, not since the day they bound their souls together. He wanted to touch him, but Jace was was pressed against the sink, as far away from Alec as possible while still being in the same room, and Alec would respect this, even if he didn\u2019t understand. Still, he pleaded softly, \u201cJace, please\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Taking a deep breath, Jace squared his shoulders and met Alec\u2019s questioning gaze head-on and explained slowly, as if speaking to someone being extremely obtuse, \u201cMagnus.<\/em> Alec, we can\u2019t do this to Magnus. Your boyfriend<\/em>. He\u2026 he saved me, he deserves better.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Jace...\u201d Alec couldn\u2019t help it, relief left him in a burst of laughter, which he quelled immediately at the hurt look on Jace\u2019s face. Reaching out he offered his hand to Jace, holding his eyes steadily until he hesitantly took it, although he remained where he was. Alec squeezed it in apology. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, parabatai, I didn\u2019t mean to sound callous. It\u2019s just\u2026 Magnus and I broke up, even before we got his magic back. I\u2019ll always be grateful to him for everything, but when Lilith had you, it became pretty obvious to us both where my priorities lay - and it wasn\u2019t with him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hope blossomed on Jace\u2019s face, making Alec\u2019s heart ache with joy, and with a gentle tug he pulled his parabatai back between his legs, smiling when he came easily. Brushing Jace\u2019s hair out of his forehead, Alec bit his lower lip and tilted his head up, his eyes sliding shut when Jace followed his silent invitation. Just before their lips touched, however, Jace paused to smirk playfully at Alec, all shadows gone from his eyes. \u201cWhat you mean to say is that I\u2019m irresistible?\u201d<\/p>\n

Laughing fondly, Alec just shook his head and, in lieu of a reply, pulled his parabatai into a kiss. Their noses bumped, and something suspiciously like a giggle bubbled up in Alec, even as Jace hiccupped a laugh before finally pressing their mouths together again. They fell into an intoxicating back and forth, switching between the lazy slide of lips and deeper, all-encompassing explorations.<\/p>\n

Resting both hands on Alec\u2019s shoulders, Jace swiftly moved to straddle him. A guttural groan escaped Alec as his parabatai\u2019s weight settled on his lap, and he fisted one hand in the soft terry cloth of Jace\u2019s towel. The other was still buried in the silky strands of Jace\u2019s hair, and he hungrily swallowed Jace\u2019s moans as they rocked against each other, heat spiraling between them. They were both hardening quickly against each other and had to stop kissing to catch their breath as pleasure threatened to overwhelm them with dizzying speed.<\/p>\n

They\u2019d always been dimly aware of each other\u2019s emotions, but never like this, as if every barrier between them was dropping, leaving them wide open to each other, and Alec felt drunk with it. He didn\u2019t need to open his eyes to know that Jace\u2019s face mirrored his own awe. He did it anyway, finding Jace\u2019s blue-and-gold gaze fixed on him, and it was the most beautiful sight he\u2019d ever seen.<\/p>\n

Behind him, Alec\u2019s wings involuntarily fluttered a couple of times, moving the warm air around them as he threatened to lose control, but when he moved to shrug them away, Jace stopped him with gentle hands on his back. For the first time, Alec did nothing to hide the pleasure he felt at the sensation of his parabatai\u2019s fingers carding through black feathers. His head fell back in a drawn-out moan, which turned into a sharp gasp when Jace ducked his head to press open-mouthed kisses down the tense line of Alec\u2019s neck, sucking and licking until Alec was quivering with the effort of holding himself together.<\/p>\n

Digging his fingers into the small of Jace\u2019s back, he gasped raspily, \u201cStop, please - don\u2019t want to come yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSensitive spot, I see,\u201d Jace murmured with a teasing grin, but he did ease up, and Alec used the opportunity to pull at the towel still wrapped around his parabatai\u2019s lean hips. It fell to the floor, and Jace\u2019s eyes darkened at whatever he could see on Alec\u2019s face - arousal, probably, and something very close to awe, as he let his gaze roam over the golden expanse of Jace\u2019s bare skin. He had lost some weight, the past few months having taken a toll on him, but he was still the most beautiful thing Alec had ever seen - right down to the hard curve of his erection rising from its nest of dark blonde curls. Breaking Alec\u2019s breathless contemplation, Jace nipped gently at his parabatai\u2019s lower lip, but pulled away before he could deepen the kiss. Lifting his weight off Alec\u2019s lap, Jace whispered throatily, \u201cYour turn.\u201d<\/p>\n

With that he gracefully slid to his knees, the sight making Alec\u2019s heart skip a beat, even before he tugged at Alec\u2019s black boxers, smirking up at him until Alec got with the program and rose long enough from his seat for his underwear to join Jace\u2019s towel, folding his wings away in the process. He immediately had to sit down again, however, his legs threatening to give out in light of the naked hunger on Jace\u2019s face, as if he wanted to eat Alec alive. Although Alec was almost shaking with desire at the prospect of Jace\u2019s mouth on him, he shook his head and firmly pulled Jace back into his lap.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnother time\u2026\u201d he promised when Jace pouted, sliding a thumb across Jace\u2019s lips, which parted to suck in the digit, making it almost impossible to continue, \u201cI\u2019ll have you on your knees another time. For now, I want to see your face when I make you fall apart\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

The sound of his own voice, deep and firm, rang foreign in Alec\u2019s ears. He didn\u2019t know where this confidence came from, except maybe from that part of him that was inexorably linked with the man in his arms, the part that always knew what Jace needed, the part that would do anything<\/em> to give it to him. Which apparently now extended to taking charge in their love-making, if the quickening of Jace\u2019s heartbeat and the thrum of excitement Alec could feel through their bond was anything to go by.<\/p>\n

Reaching around his parabatai, Alec fumbled for the grooming kit on the counter behind Jace, unwilling to let go of him and glad when he found what he\u2019d been looking for relatively easily. Offering the bottle of oil to Jace, who was watching him with eyes that were almost all pupil, he asked gently, \u201cIs this okay? Do you want this?\u201d<\/p>\n

He was almost sure of Jace\u2019s response, but considering his parabatai\u2019s lack of experience with guys and everything he\u2019d been through recently, Alec needed to be absolutely certain. Still, when Jace nodded with great vehemence, Alec couldn\u2019t quite suppress a fond chuckle. The sound died on his lips, however, when Jace leaned down and whispered huskily, \u201cYes, Alec, I want you to fuck me<\/em> - hard. I want to feel you every time I move tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

Alec\u2019s balls tightened in response to this blatant invitation, and with a groan he caught Jace in a searing kiss, his free hand finding its way to Jace\u2019s butt, squeezing and kneading at the firm flesh until Jace was grinding hard against him. It was a pale imitation of what was to come, yet to Alec it felt so intense, he had to struggle not to come - a sensation his parabatai shared, if the smears of precum hitting Alec\u2019s stomach with every slide of Jace\u2019s cock were any indication.<\/p>\n

Struggling to get a hold of himself, Alec managed to put enough distance between them to fumble the bottle open, almost upending its entire contents over his hand in his haste. Luckily, the ensuing snorts of laughter didn\u2019t break the tension between them in the least, and when Alec pushed Jace to his feet and turned him around, he could feel his parabatai\u2019s excitement at being so manhandled almost as vividly as his own. Pressing a kiss to the top of Jace\u2019s spine, he ordered hoarsely, \u201cBrace yourself, parabatai.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jace obeyed immediately, resting his forearms on the countertop in front of him. This brought his butt into perfect position before Alec, and he allowed himself to be sidetracked for a moment, caressing the firm muscles with mouth and hands until Jace was quivering and begging, \u201cPlease, Alec, don\u2019t be a fucking tease - haven\u2019t we waited long enough?\u201d<\/p>\n

As much as Alec enjoyed having Jace at his mercy, he had to admit he was absolutely right. Alec was so keyed up already, if he spent much more time admiring and caressing the naked body he\u2019d tried so hard not to dream of for so long, he\u2019d probably come before long. Therefore he relented and cut to the chase, teasing apart Jace\u2019s cheeks and inserting a slippery finger between them. He was rewarded with a gasp and a tightening of muscle, so he leaned up and pressed a kiss to Jace\u2019s shoulder, admonishing him gently, \u201cRelax. And let me know if it hurts.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was a mirror over the counter, smaller than the one behind him, but large enough for him to see Jace\u2019s face clearly. They both knew that in the past Jace had sometimes used sex, especially rough sex, to numb himself to what was going on in his head. Making sure their eyes met in the reflection, Alec shook his head firmly, warning, \u201cI\u2019m serious, Jace. If I as much as suspect that you\u2019re trying to soldier through<\/em> or some such nonsense, I\u2019ll stop.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI promise,\u201d Jace replied huskily, eyes wide and open. Alec wasn\u2019t sure what made him do it, but before he could second-guess himself, his teeth had already sunk into the flesh of Jace\u2019s shoulder as if for emphasis, and in the mirror Jace bit back a moan, a blush staining his cheeks. Alec\u2019s cock twitched in response, and he thrust a couple of times against Jace\u2019s ass, leaving trails of precum while his tongue soothed the red mark his teeth had left.<\/p>\n

Jace rocked backwards, increasing the friction, but Alec caught himself just in time before losing control, putting a bit of distance between their hips. Instead he moved his hand down Jace\u2019s spine and along the cleft of his ass, circling the rim of his hole with one finger before pressing in gently. This time Jace remained relaxed, taking a few deep breaths and widening his stance, making it easy for Alec to properly insert the lube-slick digit.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure you haven\u2019t done this before?\u201d he teased, although what he intended to be an offhand remark came out rather strangled because he couldn\u2019t look away from Jace\u2019s face in the mirror. His parabatai was staring back at him with such open desire, his breath coming in pants as Alec found his sweet spot. The mirror wasn\u2019t big enough for Alec to see it, but he was sure Jace\u2019s cock was hard and leaking even before he slid his free hand around Jace\u2019s middle. <\/p>\n

Grasping the twitching length in his fist, he tugged a few times, making Jace gasp, eyes sliding shut. Alec used Jace\u2019s distraction to insert a second finger, keeping up a gentle rhythm that he hoped would keep Jace teetering on the edge without tumbling over it. Jace took him in with an ease that made it hard for Alec to focus, and he took to counting in order to stop himself from just jamming his cock into the slowly-widening opening.<\/p>\n

A third finger had Jace keening, pleasure building through their bond, and Alec quickly tightened his grip on his parabatai\u2019s erection, stopping his climax in its tracks, even as he added a third finger, twisting and stretching. Despite the moans still escaping him, Jace managed to glower at him through the mirror and complained, \u201cThat was mean.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d Alec smirked, crooking his fingers so Jace bucked and swore. \u201cI thought you\u2019d want to come with me inside you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jace stuck out his tongue at him, whining, \u201cYes, but only if it\u2019s gonna happen in this century. Come on, Alec, I\u2019m ready!\u201d<\/p>\n

As much as Alec wanted to just do as Jace requested, he insisted on a fourth finger, adding more oil for good measure. He distracted Jace by kissing him firmly, which almost backfired, because Alec was quickly becoming addicted to his parabatai\u2019s mouth. In the end, he managed to tear himself away and sit back down on the stool, pulling Jace with him. Instead of sitting down immediately, however, Jace swiveled Alec around so they could both look into the big mirror when they turned their heads. <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s gonna be one hell of a view,\u201d he promised with a wicked smile that sent shivers of raw need through Alec. Quickly he poured the entire rest of the oil over his erection, and Jace teased, \u201cWhatever is Izzy going to think when you have to requisition a new bottle already?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you really want to talk about Iz right now?\u201d Alec quirked an eyebrow, grinning when Jace shook his head vehemently. \u201cThat\u2019s what I thought.\u201d<\/p>\n

As natural as their banter came, neither one of them felt like wasting more time, and Jace quickly straddled Alec\u2019s lap, their mouths finding each other for another deep kiss. This one didn\u2019t last very long, though, impatience overcoming them both, and finally Alec grabbed his slick cock and and helped Jace sink down. They both groaned as Jace\u2019s body opened for him, gripping him so tightly Alec had to close his eyes, resting his forehead against the expanse of Jace\u2019s chest.<\/p>\n

They went slowly, carefully, Jace unused to the sensation and Alec still terrified of hurting him in any way, but after a small eternity, Jace was seated on Alec\u2019s lap, Alec\u2019s cock fully sheathed inside him. They paused then, and Alec opened his eyes to find Jace staring down at him with a wonder he knew was reflected on his own face, even before he glanced into the mirror. <\/p>\n

The sight that met him almost took his breath away, the way their bodies fit together perfectly, as if they\u2019d been made to come together like this. A smile crinkled the corners of Jace\u2019s mouth, warm and happy, and Alec knew his parabatai felt exactly the same. Without needing to speak, both of them unfolded their wings, the expanses of black and white spreading out behind them, complementing each other. Completing<\/em> each other.<\/p>\n

Looking away from their reflection, Alec slid his hands over Jace\u2019s feathers. One found his parabatai rune, the other traveled up into the silky gold of his hair, pressing their foreheads together until they were sharing each other\u2019s breaths. He was beginning to suspect why eros<\/em>, romantic love, between parabatai was forbidden - the intensity of emotion passing between them was almost overwhelming. Feeling impossibly more naked than before, Alec had to swallow past a sudden lump in his throat as he said with the fierceness of a vow, \u201cI love you. Nothing will ever change that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSame here,\u201d Jace replied immediately in a way that should be flippant but instead felt simply sincere. \u201cYou\u2019re mine and I\u2019m yours, and everything else will sort itself out.\u201d<\/p>\n

Alec wasn\u2019t even surprised that their thoughts that wandered the same paths, but right then Jace lifted himself slightly, only to sink back down, and pleasure sparked through them both like electricity. The time for words was passed as they gave themselves over to the physical sensations sparked with each upwards thrust of Alec\u2019s hips, Jace grinding down to meet him, their bodies finding a rhythm as easily as breathing.<\/p>\n

Alec knew he wouldn\u2019t last long, yet the thought didn\u2019t detract from the sheer joyfulness of their coming together. Ecstasy raced through him, heat coiling in a tight spiral in his belly, only waiting to be released, and he could feel Jace responding in kind. Every now and then he\u2019d glance away from Jace\u2019s flushed face, only to find his shining eyes again in the mirror, drinking in the sight of their coupling with a thirst Alec suspected would never be quenched. Behind them, their wings beat easily, and although Alec had never had sex like this, there was no awkwardness, no fumbling or accidentally hitting each other. Instead they both used them to balance each other as the speed and strength of their movements increased, as if that was what they\u2019d been made for.<\/p>\n

When Jace carded his fingers through Alec\u2019s feathers, making him buck and curse, Alec had wrapped one hand around Jace\u2019s erection, using the leftover oil from when he\u2019d prepped him in order to jerk him off purposefully, no longer teasing. They were both approaching their climax now, and Jace was interrupting their kisses with increasingly filthy talk, encouraging Alec, \u201cDo it, fuck me harder, fill me up, want you in me always, Alec, Alec, Alec\u2026 Oh, Angel!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

He lost coherence, his head falling back, mouth open in a long groan, and Alec stopped his thrusts, intending to focus completely on his parabatai while he came apart. Instead he could feel<\/em> Jace\u2019s orgasm like a train rumbling towards them with increasing speed, pulling Alec along in its wake, wave after wave of white-hot pleasure hitting them both at the same time. Jace started to come, spurting over Alec\u2019s lax fist and onto both their stomachs and chests, just as Alec\u2019s balls tightened and he emptied himself into his parabatai\u2019s body.<\/p>\n

It seemed to go on forever, both of them unable to do anything except cling to each other, still feeling utterly, completely connected. It was awe-inspiring, almost frightening, yet Alec had never been less scared, and they held one another through the aftershocks, their hands wandering aimlessly over hot skin, down backs once more free of wings. When they\u2019d caught their breaths, their mouths found each other in another long kiss, lazy and sated.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan I stay here?\u201d Jace finally asked sleepily, his head drooping against Alec\u2019s shoulder as his earlier exhaustion finally caught up with him. <\/p>\n

Tenderness sweeping through him, Alec pressed a kiss against his parabatai\u2019s temple and offered without hesitation, \u201cWell, maybe the bed would be more comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSmartass,\u201d Jace teased, but he did get to his feet, offering Alec his hand. Before they could leave the sanctuary of the bathroom, however, Alec stopped him long enough to rinse them both with some warm water. Jace almost nodded off in the process, and by the time they finally reached Alec\u2019s bed, he was mostly dead weight. Alec didn\u2019t mind, however, simply deposited him gently on the mattress and slid in afterwards, not bothering with clothes. Covering them with a blanket, he wrapped his arms around Jace from behind, making himself a barrier between his parabatai and the world, giving in to the urge to protect him even now. <\/p>\n

When they woke, it was with Jace draped across Alec\u2019s body, their limbs tangled, and their bond humming with warm contentment. Checking the clock, Alec saw with surprise that it was still early despite everything that had happened the night before. Still, without the need to say it out loud, he knew that Jace didn\u2019t want to stay in bed either. All too soon, reality would have them again, but not yet. This was still their<\/em> time, and Alec kissed Jace gently before getting up.<\/p>\n

The sight of his parabatai, sprawled loose-limbed and naked in his bed made him almost reconsider, but Jace winked, as if he knew exactly what Alec was thinking, and rolled to his feet. Stretching on his tiptoes, he kissed Alec lingeringly, although their combined morning breaths stopped them from getting completely sidetracked. Stepping away with a soft smile that Alec could feel mirrored on his own face, Jace trailed a hand down Alec\u2019s side, resting it against his parabatai rune for a moment before turning away. \u201cI\u2019ll see you up there.\u201d<\/p>\n

No further explanation needed, he slipped out of the room, and Alec quickly washed and dressed, unable to stop smiling helplessly. Through their bond, he could feel a similar sense of happiness from his parabatai, and when they met back up on the roof, their eyes locked in a caress that felt almost as substantial as the kiss they couldn\u2019t risk where there were cameras. Still, with a small, defiant shrug, Alec offered Jace his hand, and without hesitation, his parabatai\u2019s fingers found his in an unspoken promise.<\/p>\n

There would be no more letting go.<\/p>\n

There was darkness still to come, war and blood, and after that a fight for their right to love each other loomed, but for now, with one last squeeze of their linked hands, Alec and Jace stepped off the ledge together, wings extending. The wind caught them, and, with an exultant cry, they hurtled themselves into the morning sky and towards the rising sun, black and white wings beating in perfect unison.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This entry is in the series Shadowhunter AUs<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div>

It was almost midnight, and Alec felt Jace\u2019s return shortly before the Institute\u2019s sensors registered two Shadowhunters landing on the roof.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"yes","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[228,197],"tags":[294,299,307],"series":[325],"class_list":["post-1921","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-alec-lightwoodjace-wayland","category-shadowhunters","tag-audience-all","tag-genre-slash","tag-warning-au","series-shadowhunter-aus"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1921","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1921"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1921\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1924,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1921\/revisions\/1924"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1921"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1921"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1921"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirasade.net\/fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=1921"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}