Author's Note: I've wanted to write this crossover ever since learning that Midsomer's DS Ben Jones is originally from Wales (I even seem to remember that his family was from Cardiff), home of my favorite Welshman ever, Torchwood's Ianto Jones. So this is total indulgence on my part.
When Detective Sergeant Ben Jones decided to use a work trip to Cardiff to look up his cousin, who he hadn't seen since their great-aunt Berta's funeral six years ago, he had not expected to be chased down a sewer by some bloody great creature frothing at the mouth and trying to eat him alive.
Cousin Ianto, dressed impeccably in a suit and tie, called it a "weevil" and coolly stunned it with some sort of pepper spray and a tazer while Ben stood there panting and staring at the thing on the ground in disbelief. He started to feel slightly numb to the emotion when Ianto showed him around the gigantic underground facility he simply called the "hub", which appeared to be stuffed to the brim with technology, artefacts and... beings that were very obviously not from around Cardiff. Or any other place on Earth, for that matter.
Ben Jones had watched the news in recent years about spaceships and attacks and other strange occurences with a good deal of skepticism, he had never really had an opinion about extraterristrial life one way or the other, but this? This seemed to be taking it a bit too far. "Seriously, Ianto. Aliens? You're telling me you left your fancy London government job to hunt aliens through the sewers of Cardiff?"
Ianto gave him an unfazed look and poured them both a drink from a drawer in what he had told Ben was his boss' desk: "Actually, the fancy London job already included aliens - although admittedly, there are rather more of them around here." He then proceeded to go into a lengthy explanation, something about a rift in time and space, but Ben mostly focussed on the burn of whisky down his throat and occasionally nodded, similar to when Inspector Barnaby let loose about some difficult clue in one of his beloved crossword puzzles.
They were interrupted by the appearance of a rather dashing man in an old military coat, which he flung onto a hook behind the desk Ianto was perching on, so Ben figured that this was Ianto's boss. "Visitors, Ianto?" the man asked in an American accent, curious but apparently not unduly alarmed as he accepted the drink Ianto wordlessly poured him. While Ianto explained and introduced, the man - Captain Jack Harkness, apparently - leaned against the desk right next to Ianto, and something in the way they did not quite touch but slightly turned towards each other made Ben take note. Apparently his cousin had not only kept his job a secret from the family, but some rather more personal matters as well... He kept this observation to himself, however, and calmly returned Harkness' friendly greeting.
"So you're a police officer, then?" Harkness inquired, and at Ben's nod continued: "Tonight must have been a bit of a change of pace - there's probably not a lot of excitement going on where you're from..."
Ben almost snorted, but managed to reply politely instead: "Oh, we have our share. Midsomer is rather... a unique sort of place. There's plenty of excitement, though all of it of human origin." He grinned and drained his glass, noticing that Harkness' smile had gotten more... interested, more personal, as if Ben's answer had been to his liking. Ianto was watching the exchange with detached amusement, and Ben wondered again about what kind of relationship his cousin shared with his boss.
They made small talk for a while longer, which consisted mostly of Harkness - Jack, as he insisted on being called - becoming more and more forward in his attentions and Ben fending him off as best as he could without causing offence. It was mostly because he did not want to get into Ianto's bad graces, either by being too friendly or too rude to his boss or whatever else he was. Ianto had always hidden a surprising ruthlessness under his calm exterior, and Ben did not particularly want to find out if the stories that circulated among the younger members of their family were true and therefore kept a tight rein on his temper.
Still, Ben enjoyed spending time with both Jack and Ianto, especially when the two of them started bantering in a way that was obviously second nature to them. He had heard about the tragic events Ianto had been involved in in the past couple of years, although he now doubted he knew even half the story, and it was nice to see that his cousin had obviously made a place for himself here. Even if his place was in a bizarre alien hunter cave in some sort of gay love affair with his boss.
Having thought his, Ben suppressed a yawn and shook his head, which started to feel as if it was filled with cobwebs. He noticed Jack and Ianto exchanging glances and was suddenly alarmed. With effort he managed to whisper: "What? What have you done to me, Ianto?"
But before he could say or do anything else, everything went dim and he was left with the impression of two pairs of strong arms catching him as his legs gave way and an American voice saying amusedly: "Pity he didn't seem interested, Ianto, he fits rather well in between us..." Then Ben passed out.
When he came to, it was on his cousin Ianto's couch, being offered a ride to the doctor. "You were mugged last night, do you want to get yourself checked out?" Ianto explained when Ben only looked at him in confusion. Ianto also told him a doctor friend of his had already come over while Ben was passed out and said that Ben might be suffering from shock and therefore have trouble with his memory for a bit. Noticing the dirt on his clothes and vaguely remembering a dark alley and threatening footsteps, Ben considered informing the authorities. "I managed to chase the guy off," Ianto offered as further explanation, and Ben finally decided against both the doctor and the police, as he didn't feel injured and none of his valuables seemed to be missing. He was due to leave this afternoon and any action he took would only delay his departure.
Smiling at him reassuringly and looking completely collected in his smart office suit, Ianto offered him a cup of coffee. Ben accepted it gratefully and only wondered for a moment why he expected it to be whisky. Or why he kept hearing an American voice in his head. Ianto must have been watching a movie or something while he'd been passed out. That did not explain the phantom memory of a pair of lips against his, a man's lips, but Ben shrugged the weird impression off as some sort of daydream. Really, this was Cardiff - not a lot of excitement going on here...
***
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