Loving Alec

Author's Note: Tumblr prompt from @dnteverdoubtme: “Don’t underestimate what a person can do to protect those they care about.”
Sometimes protection can mean not doing something.

***

Jace wasn’t quite sure how it happened. He only knew that they were sparring, and Jace had Alec pinned to the floor. He was laughing, lighthearted and free in ways he hadn’t felt in much too long, when he smirked down at a struggling Alec and thought, I want to kiss you.

And it should have felt like a huge deal, the ground opening beneath his feet, his world tilting as he realized that not only did he love Alec (of course he did, that was a given) but that he wanted him. Wanted him in ways Jace had never wanted another guy before, in ways the Clave expressly forbade. And yet it only felt natural, a gentle shift, as if, for the first time in forever, things clicked into place.

Because this was Alec, who’d always been Jace’s anchor, the one who’d made love seem worth it despite Michael Wayland/Valentine’s teachings. Jace only marveled that it had taken him so long to see that his love for Alec encompassed everything.

His parabatai was laughing and bucking upwards, and they flipped over, like a playful pair of puppies, and Jace looked into Alec’s dancing eyes, wondering how he’d react if he reached up and pulled him into a kiss. If his lips were as soft as they looked, if he’d respond gently or with pent-up passion. If he’d break away and tell Jace that he was sorry, but he was too late.

Using his legs, Jace twisted, using Alec’s arm as leverage, grinning when his parabatai groaned, and with the same certainty that he felt him warm and bright in his soul Jace knew that Alec wouldn’t refuse him. They were too connected, the two of them, now more than ever, with Alec no longer hiding a part of himself from everyone but most of all his parabatai. Alec would kiss him back, and they’d break the Law without a second thought.

They’d break the Law, and the consequences would end Alec’s world. It was already hard enough to have a Downworlder boyfriend, people who’d always respected him giving him sideways glances that made Jace want to break their faces, doors that had been wide open suddenly closed. He had to fight harder, be better, prove himself all over. And if Jace kissed him, if they crossed that line…

The decision was easy, in the end.

Jace laughed, disentangling himself from his prone parabatai, and continued on as he always had. Loving Alec.

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