Note: In response to the challenge at
Note 2: I did most certainly not plan to write yet another Lotrips fic so quickly - my other fandoms are feeling neglected. But I looked at pics of Billeh and just couldn't help myself... Second person fic, to make things worse. Ugh.
You're sure they didn't mean you to see. They're trying their best to be discreet, after all, what with the possibility of a scandal and all. It wouldn't do at all for them to be seen together in public. At least not like that, not kissing in the shadow of a small alley while waiting for a cab to take them home after the pub.
Luckily for them, it's only you who sees them.
Only you, a fellow actor, a friend, and now an accidental co-conspirator. Because of all these things you know you should turn away, or maybe let them know that they're being watched, that it could just as easily have been someone else.
But you don't.
Maybe it's the beer Dom has been sneaking you all night, maybe it's the fact that they have to hide often enough the way things are, maybe you just don't want to intrude upon their privacy.
You almost snort at that. Yeah right! As if you are able to think altruistically when in truth you simply can't tear your eyes away from them. It's not the first time you've suspected that you might have a thing for watching, but it's always only been strangers -- a couple on the beach, a guy jerking off in the dark of the theatre, things like that -- never people you know, people you work with. Your friends.
Only that they don't look much like your friends right now, not when it's hard to tell where one ends and the other begins, with Orli's long limbs twined around Viggo's, almost as if he is trying to climb him like a tree. And Viggo is holding him there, hands pushing Orli up against him.
It's pretty pornographic, even with them still wearing all their clothes and basically not doing much more than kissing. Pornographic -- and beautiful.
Too beautiful to look away, so you stand there, pressed against the wall, trying to make yourself invisible while still being able to See. See with a capital 'S', because that's what it feels like, as if your eyes are doing more than just take something in. It feels like eating chocolate, like drinking your first cocktail, like the first cigarette in the morning, feeding more than your addiction, leaving you full and satisfied. It feels like the forbidden fruit, all the better because you're not allowed to have it.
Orli is still pushing his hips against Viggo's, but their movements have sped up, causing you to cast a quick glance around, to make sure the cab won't come before they do. Oops, bad pun, that one, but you don't care, not when they're still kissing, drinking each other greedily while their bodies rock back and forth.
The door of the pub behind you swings open, letting out music and laughter together with smokey air and some people. When you've made sure that they won't discover Orli and Viggo, you turn back, just to see Viggo smoothing Orlando's ruffled hair and Orlando fixing Viggo's rumpled clothes.
You suppress a groan of frustration because you've missed the best part, but then you see Viggo lean forward and plant a soft kiss on Orlando's smiling lips, and you think that maybe you haven't missed the main point after all.
~~~~
All the excitement of being in Lord of the Rings is not enough when it means that you're away from home for months on end. You know that, you've experienced home sickness often enough not to be surprised when you start to miss your family, your friends, your city, so much that it hurts.
Yet you're surprised when you notice that the others get homesick, too.
Even Liv, who's only here for a part of the time, and who has been in so many films, she should be used to it by now. But then, so should you, so you guess it's only natural after all, no matter how many movies one has made.
Everyone has their own way to deal with it, their own strategies to make it pass as quickly as possible. You, you focus even more on what's going on around you, as if anchoring yourself in the present by watching everything makes bearing being away from home easier.
Liv, on the other hand, starts out by making even more phone calls to her fiancé, her girlfriends, and her family, but mostly her fiancé. But you notice that it doesn't seem to help much, because she only gets edgier, with her nerves starting to lie blank.
That's when she changes strategy and starts to hang out more with Orli.
Only logical, since they are about the same age and he's driving her everywhere anyway, so you don't pay them too much attention. Liv is engaged, and Orli is with Viggo after all, even if no one except you knows this.
Therefore it comes as a bit of a shock to you when you find them having sex in their make-up trailer.
You are not really supposed to be there, of course. Everyone has finished for the day and gone off, but you have forgotten a CD you've borrowed Orlando and remembered that it had been lying on Orlando's make-up table.
Later you're glad that you decided not to wait until morning to get it, because the sight of the two Elves moving together is something you will never forget. Liv's paleness against Orli's darker skin, contrasting beautifully as Liv holds Orlando into place with her thighs. Their eyes are closed as Orli pushes inside Liv, and you briefly wonder who they are thinking of.
But then Liv makes this mewling noise, answered by a low growl from Orlando, and you forget about that and concentrate on taking as much as possible in before you get caught.
This time you don't even consider making yourself known. You just stand there, half-hidden by the door, and watch. Watch the muscles in Orlando's back work, the strain in his arms that hold him above Liv's shivering body. Watch Liv throw her head back, her hands gripping Orli's shoulders as she moves with him, a flush covering the parts of her body you can see.
She has a small mole beneath her left breast. You catch a glimpse of it as Orlando collapses on top of her, burying his face against her right shoulder. She's holding him now, stroking him with a tenderness that you didn't see before. You can't see Orli's face, but hers wears an expression of sadness that reminds you of Arwen.
You leave before you can see if there are tears in her eyes.
~~~~
Eyes are something you are used to feeling on you. It's been a part of your life for as long as you remember, so much that it feels as if something is missing when people don't pay any attention to you.
Not now, though, not when it allows you to slip into the background and just lean back and watch, your presence forgotten. They think you're asleep on the couch, and you're careful not to disturb their misconception. You wouldn't want to miss the show by being shooed out of the room, after all.
It has all started out with yet another movie night, everyone gathering in Dom's and Billy's place for a couple of hours of bonding over a horrible b-movie and some beers, but now only you and the hosts are left -- and you are forgotten.
At least you're pretty sure that Dom wouldn't crawl over to where Billy is resting on the floor if they knew that you were watching. You can never be sure when it comes to Dom, who's simply crazy, and Billy, who has a devious streak a mile wide.
But then Dom nuzzles Billy's neck and makes Billy's head fall back, so that it lands on the discarded remote. Billy exclaims "Ouch!" and Dom shushes him with a muffled laugh and a whispered "Pshh, he's asleep", so you guess you're safe after all. Then Dom goes back to nuzzling and Billy closes his eyes as he holds Dom's head in place, allowing you to watch them more openly.
It almost feels normal by now, this tightening in your chest and the tingling spreading from your stomach. There's just something -- special about seeing your friends in positions like this, not just a thrill but... You don't think you want to go there right now.
Right now you just want to see how far they will go with you present, want to see Billy's scrunched up face and the curve of Dom's neck, and the hands that hold Billy down as Dom leaves his place on Billy's neck to go further down, opening Billy's blue shirt with nothing but his teeth.
You're pretty impressed with his agility, but then Billy makes this sound in the back of his throat again and you forget how to think for a while. You just watch, your breath quickening slightly as you forget your role as a sleeper when you see Dom's throat work, see Billy buck against the grip on his hips, and finally see Billy arch off the ground and see Dom swallow. You expel a breath you haven't been aware of holding and relax back into the couch, incredibly grateful for Dom's and Billy's remarkable lack of restraint.
It's only when Billy pulls Dom up and their smiling lips meet for the first time that you feel like an intruder. Maybe, in the end, not all things are meant to be seen by you.
~~~
8 Comments