Author's Note: Typed this up while at work on a Friday. Just an idea, not a proper fic, in which Patrick Stump is a lifesize doll/humaniform robot that goes all creepy on its owner. Who obviously has to be Pete Wentz....
It's like, Joe was the one who found him somewhere, and they didn't mean to keep him, but there he is, looking all sweet and innocent with his glasses and his hats (he comes with a set of different ones, as well as optional musical instruments), and Pete is all "Hey, we still need a singer for our band, maybe the Patrick doll can do it!" And Joe and Andy don't see any harm in trying (Andy gets all worked up that dolls have the right to rock same as humans), and that's when Patrick gets a secret evil gleam in his eyes, because there's no way he's going back into the box now!
He totally uses all his charm and musical ability and blows them away, and at the end of the day he just curls up next to Pete (because evil!Patrick totally knows that Pete can't possibly resist him) and looks adorably lost and lonely until Joe says "Looks as if you're taking him home, Pete!" And Pete does, and at first it's really awesome - Patrick totally sings to him and makes sure he eats and sleeps. He also wakes Pete up with an amazing blowjob, over which Pete would totally freak out (he's not into dolls, that's just creepy!) if he wasn't too busy coming his brains out. Because obviously Patrick gives the best head EVER. And after he pretends to be all apologetic and pathetic ("I just couldn't help myself, I really wanted to know what it feels like - was it okay, Pete? Or did you not like it because I'm not pretty - or because I'm not REAL?") and makes Pete feel totally guilty for trying to push him off at first. And then he gets Pete to fuck him, leading to a new degree of guilt ("I'm using you, that's just wrong, Patrick!" - "So you don't like me? Is it because I'm a doll? I thought you were my FRIEND, Pete..."), because Pete simply cannot say no to Patrick and his voice, his smile, his eyes, his wickedwicked mouth and those HANDS... Yeah, in combination with Patrick's musical geniusness, Pete is pretty much screwed - and already half in love with Patrick, over which he agonizes in rambling lyrics.
So now Patrick has Pete exactly where he wants him, namely in a place where Patrick can completely manipulate Pete into doing anything - guilt and sex and music, Pete doesn't stand a chance!
Joe and Andy totally notice what's going on, btw, but they have no idea it was all Patrick's evil plan. They just think that Pete is even more screwed up than they thought, and they look at Patrick, who's all eager smiles and shy blushes when they're around, and they listen to the music him and Pete create, and they kind of shrug it off. I mean, Patrick's only a sweet innocent doll, right, almost angelic, really, what harm could he possibly do? Pete gets crushes all the time (at least Patrick is LEGAL, well kind of), and the music is amazing - they just have to wait it out, Pete'll get over this weird thing he has for their singer doll and they'll have a kick-ass band.
Except then Pete tries to kill himself, and that's where Patrick screwed up (maybe he kind of likes living with Pete by now, and he REALLY likes the music and the band - and the sex isn't half-bad either), because Pete was not supposed to wake up again. Good thing he doesn't remember a thing, so when he meets Patrick's anxious gaze in the hospital (panic cleverly disguised as shock/fury/disappointment), he only winces at the firm grip Patrick has on his hand, not because he's about to denounce Patrick as evil and cause Joe and Andy to take him apart. So when Patrick whispers "You're not EVER going to leave me, are you, Pete?", Pete nods and smiles. And if Patrick's eyes glow for a moment, Andy and Joe will just think it's tears of relief.
