Five Times Julia & Jan Did Not Cross the Line (and One Time They Did)

Author’s Note: I’m pretty sure this is my first “5 times” fic ever - sure took me long enough... 🙂 Please excuse the random POV switches, but Jan and Julia kind of share a brain anyway, slipping back and forth between them just kind of happened. This was the original “Forbidden Love” - adult twins Jan and Julia meet-cute and instantly fall in love, until the truth comes out, after which much misunderstanding, intrigue and angsting ensues (it’s a soap, after all). During the original story line they never did more than make out and ended up off-screen living in different countries. As part of the 4000th episode celebrations, they were brought back (played by different actors) and got their happy ending (after many, many lies, deceptions and heartbreak, of course). Additional info on the source material at the end.

(One: Hiding)

Keeping their love a secret had seemed like the perfect solution to everyone butting into their relationship, but it just wasn’t enough. Every time they met, they were just a bit more desperate, a bit more hungry for each other.

Their attraction had been instant, their first date ending with Jan’s hands beneath Julia’s coat and Julia wishing desperately that he had accepted her invitation to go upstairs. Afterwards they had made out every chance they got, but as they grew closer, they started to take it for granted that they had all the time in the world and that patience would be its own reward. How stupid that had been, now that there was nowhere for them to go in order to be alone and possibly horizontal. Of course, they could have booked into a hotel, but Jan couldn’t very well check in anywhere classy enough for Julia while hiding from the law as "Peter". They were bound to ask for ID, so the only thing he could offer were lame excuses about sleaziness and wanting to do things “properly”.

Therefore all they had was Julia’s car and the cover of darkness. Only there Jan got to explore Julia’s body, even if most of their clothes had to stay on, and Julia clung to him, not getting enough of the taste of him, the feel of him. Her hands strayed, too, down his chest, pressing gently against the bulge in his jeans, making him gasp her name. When she wore a skirt, Jan slipped his own hand up her thigh, along her silky skin, trailing exploring fingers over the cloth of her panties, finding the point that made her moan into his mouth.

They were cramped, uncomfortable, with the gear shift separating them, but they surged ever closer, trying to get as much as possible as they could from one another, even if it left them panting and wanting more almost every time. Once, parked in a dark parking lot near the Rheinauen, Julia threw all caution to the wind and opened Jan’s zipper, worming her small hands inside his boxers and wrapping around his erection. Jan bucked, starting to move his own hand rhythmically under the conveniently short skirt she was wearing, and, as always, they fell in sync effortlessly. It was a quick, dry hand job and the angle of Jan’s hand was less than ideal, but they came both, Julia first, Jan following soon after, their mouths never separating as they shared gasping breaths.

Afterwards, they smiled at each other, blissfully happy - and blissfully unaware of how soon even these stolen moments would be over.

***

(Two: Fugitives)

She appeared in his room, calling him by his real name and willing to run away with him until his innocence was proven. In light of everything he had done to push her away after learning that she was his sister, the simplicity and strength of her love made it impossible for him not to go along with her plans, unrealistic and romantic as they were. How could he tell her now, when she was ready to leave her whole life behind, taking his hand and kissing him as if that was all she needed.

And for a moment, in that hotel room, it was all he needed, too, the world disappearing when she rolled on top of him, pressing herself against the length of his body as if she wanted to melt into him. Julia felt him let go, relax beneath her, finally responding to her insistent kisses with all the familiar hunger, rolling them over and pushing his hips against hers. She gasped his name into his ear - his real one, the one already written into her heart, onto her body.

He stood again, but only to take off his jacket, and she followed his example, their eyes never leaving one another as she stalked him playfully across the room. They stopped smiling when their lips met, drinking each other in, flesh tingling wherever it met, and Jan moved Julia back to the inviting expanse of the bed. Her creamy skin beckoned to him and he followed it, moving down, along her neck, skimming her bra for now, intent on his goal further below. Julia arched her body against him, and he opened the buttons of her slacks with trembling fingers. She pushed him back a little, just enough to help him slide them off and took her panties off in the same movement.

Now it was Jan’s turn to moan helplessly, and he buried his nose in the blond curls he had only ever felt, not seen. She moaned softly, almost embarrassed, while her right hand fisted into his hair, the mix of reluctance and strength so familiar, so very Julia. He did not hesitate to taste her, holding her hips with one hand, the other reaching for her free one, entwining their fingers against the flat of her stomach. Julia could not stop repeating his name as he took her apart more thoroughly than anyone had ever done before. It wasn’t because of any special skills or tricks, but because, as always, he instinctively pushed all her buttons, licking, sucking, nibbling until she fell apart beneath his mouth. They looked at each other while she trembled and shook, and it was the most beautiful thing Jan had ever seen.

She pulled him up, kissing him deeply, and Jan, achingly hard from tasting her, seeing her, feeling her, hearing her, turned her onto her stomach in order to stop himself from simply taking off his jeans and sliding inside her. Somehow, having given her this and feeling her soft and pliant beneath him, suddenly he could no longer stop the thoughts from coming, the panic over what they, what he, had done. He kissed her shoulders, reverently, trying to convey all his feelings through his touch before he forced his unwilling body from the bed and fled.

***

(Three: Flatshare)

Julia knew it had been her idea to push Jan and her best friend together, but nothing had prepared her for the raw pain she felt when she saw them in bed together. That had been a nightmare to live through, but afterwards, every time she heard them knowing what they looked like together - what Jan looked like making love - was enough to make sleep impossible. Even Jan’s attempts at keeping things quiet somehow made it worse, because it meant that he knew exactly what she was going through.

Not for the first time Julia wished for a time machine to go back and maim the architect who thought up that stupid window between their rooms. When, finally, nothing except the sound of blissful silence came through the wooden shutter, Julia relaxed into her bed, having kicked her blanket aside in frustration. However, sleep still avoided her, tingles racing over her skin as her mind kept replaying Jan’s soft sighs and groans. She closed her eyes and allowed her hands to wander, picturing Jan above her, touching her.

On the other side of the wall Jan lay next to a sleeping Nicole, staring at the ceiling with the all-too-familiar mix of contentment and guilt. A soft noise from Julia’s room made him listen up. Was she alright? He hoped that Nicole hadn’t been too loud before, that Julia wasn’t lying awake crying again. The thought made him sit up and slide off the bed.

When he reached Julia’s door, he opened it noiselessly, in case Julia was asleep, and froze when he realized what exactly he had heard: Julia caressing herself, her eyes closed, a half-smile on her face as her hands moved underneath her pajama top and slid lower. Jan’s breath caught as memories came flooding back of the few intimate moments they had stolen before their parents’ secrets had ruined it all, and despite his recent activity with Nicole he could feel himself stir in his boxers.

That was when Julia opened her eyes and met Jan’s startled stare. For a moment they both froze, then Julia’s gaze flicked down and up again and she couldn’t stop a soft gasp from escaping. The hand cupping her sex tightened as she remembered the stolen intimacies she’d been trying so hard to forget, and she bucked up almost involuntarily, causing Jan’s eyes to widen in surprise and her name to escape him in a hoarse whisper. Then his tongue slipped out, moistening suddenly dry lips, and Julia repeated the motion, slipping one finger inside herself.

They were both breathing hard now, and Jan slid one hand down his bare chest and into his boxers, wrapping his fingers around his quickly hardening dick. He leant against the doorframe to keep his legs from buckling when Julia abandoned any pretense of not continuing where she had stopped, giving him a glimpse of the skin of her stomach as she arched up slightly, pushing into her own hand.

Neither one of them looked away, their movements becoming faster in tandem. It was almost as if they were really together, as if it was Jan’s fingers inside Julia, his other hand playing with her breasts, and one of Julia’s hands moving rhythmically around Jan’s cock while the other cupped his balls, then moved up to tease his nipples. Julia kept whispering his name, more and more breathlessly as she neared her climax, so much faster than when she normally touched herself, and it was all Jan could do not to groan loudly.

He came with a muffled cry of her name, stickiness spreading uncomfortably, which he barely noticed because right then Julia fell apart, her eyes sliding shut, her hips lifting off the bed and thrusting towards him. When she looked back up at him, Jan was still standing there, the look on his face probably mirroring her own - happiness, wistfulness, and already the first glimmer of guilt. Still, she could not stop herself from smiling at him and whispering: “Love you, Jan.”

Everything was almost okay when he mouthed the words back before slipping backwards out of the room, not once looking away from her relaxed form until the door closed softly. For once, both of them fell asleep instantly.

***

(Four: Dreaming)

After so many years of celibacy, Jan was no stranger to erotic dreams. Sometimes he even took himself in hand, unable to bear the tension otherwise. If those times often happened to coincide with waking from dreams of Julia - well, the fact that she was his sister was one detail he did not tell his father confessor. While under the seal of confession priests had to accept even the worst sins of their parishioners, Jan was realistic enough to admit that they themselves, especially the ones living out in the community, were held to higher standards.

Then he found himself face to face with Julia again, and emotions he had thought he had under control started to boil to the surface, as if they’d just been laying in wait all these years. That one particular vivid dream, where she came to him at night, shedding her clothes and climbing into his narrow bed as if it was the most natural thing in the world, it felt so real, he could almost smell her perfume, hear her breathy voice, feel her silk-clad breasts move against his chest. He could not wait to bury himself inside her, knowing her body would welcome him, and surrendered to her touch, her hungry mouth on his, his whole body shaking in anticipation. Waking alone felt wrong, and he could have sworn he was still able to taste the salt of her skin on his lips.

Julia as well could still feel his mouth move against hers, the way his hands gripped her hips possessively and pulled her closer, his cock swelling against her panties. Impatiently she slid them off, their bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces, the way she had always known they would. It did not feel like a dream at all, and whenever she opened her eyes alone she couldn’t help feeling disoriented, as if she had just been somewhere else. Her sex life with Ricardo was wonderful, even after all these years of marriage, but she only had to catch sight of Jan and her skin tingled, in a way it hadn’t since that beach in Lanzarote.

Sometimes she still wondered why she had allowed herself to be swept out to sea, to disappear and leave Jan behind. But then, he had not followed her letter asking him to join her in Spain either, so it seemed that both of them had not been quite as ready as they had imagined themselves to be during that last embrace on the beach. Julia truly loved her little family here in Mallorca, but those few days on the island had been the happiest of her life, and suddenly the intervening 18 years since she had last felt Jan’s body move against hers, strong and sure where she had been elated but scared, felt like the dream and their imagined love-making like reality.

When their eyes met that day, both could feel the heat simmering between them, and their eyes widened as they realized they were sharing the same thoughts, the same memories of bodies moving on a narrow priest’s bed, in a room Julia had never actually set foot in.

***

(Five: Confessional)

The dark safety of the confessional was where they had met again, even if Julia hadn’t known it at the time, and it was where they hid now. Julia was shaking with sadness and anger at the prospect of losing Jan due to some arbitrary decision by the Church, now that they had finally found each other again, and in the confessional Jan could take her into his arms, hold her tightly, without fear of discovery.

The compartments of the wooden booth really had not been made for two people, and as Julia threw her arms around his neck and sobbed into his collar, the impact caused Jan’s knees to hit the priest’s chair, where he had spent so much time listening to his parishioners’ problems and sins. With a small grunt he sat down abruptly, taking his crying sister with him. Suddenly Julia was straddling his legs, sitting in his lap, and they were much, much closer than before.

Both of them froze, Jan was pretty sure they even stopped breathing for a moment. This was obviously one of those times where they were supposed to jump apart, reassert the platonic, safe distance between them. Still, neither one of them moved - Jan’s arms were still wrapped around Julia’s back, her head was still nestled against his neck. their whole bodies pressed together intimately. Julia exhaled deeply, and her breath tickled Jan’s ear, making him shiver. Instinctively he tightened his hold on her, his hardening cock making itself felt against her center.
Julia’s whole body shuddered, her hands buried themselves in Jan’s hair, and her hips made a small, stuttering rocking motion that made Jan gasp. This seemed to break the dam, and they were kissing, simultaneously desperate, hungry and full of longing, just the way they had on that beach on Lanzarote, the way almost every single one of their kisses had been, ever since the truth had come out and their lives had been shattered. They drank each other, swallowing gasps and moans, their hips rocking against each other in earnest now.

Julia was still crying, whether from sadness, guilt or joy she couldn’t really tell, and Jan lifted his hands from their exploration of her curves to cradle her face, his thumbs wiping away her tears. It was an incongruously gentle gesture when compared to the way their bodies were doing their best to fuck each other through their clothes. Julia’s thin linen trousers were rubbing deliciously against Jan’s jeans and the hardness pressing against the zipper, just this side of painful. She broke their kiss but kept moving, leaning her forehead against his and whispering breathlessly: “I can’t lose you again, Jan, I can’t, I can’t!”

There was something painfully sexy about the way her words came out in counterpoint to the grinding of their bodies, and Jan bucked up and bit out her name between clenched teeth, trying to stop himself from coming as well as from anyone outside of their sanctuary hearing. It broke something inside of Julia, and she whispered right into his ear: “I want you.”

Before Jan had time to react, she suddenly broke his grip on her and slid off his lap, keeping her eyes, dark and hungry, on his as she dropped to her knees on the wooden floor of the confessional booth. He moved as if to reach out to her, but she shook her head and opened his jeans with fingers that were trembling slightly. His head fell back, banging it against the back of the cubicle to keep from being overwhelmed by the sensation of her skin against his as her hand wrapped around his bare cock.

She gave him a small smile that said many things, too many, and then leaned closer to take him into her mouth. She felt him jump at the touch of her tongue and used her hands to keep him still. His strong, slim fingers came to rest in her hair, not pulling but holding her head firmly, the wet heat of her making quick work of the last remnants of his control until he had to lift one of his hands to his mouth to bite down on it.

They couldn’t stop looking at each other, and all too soon Julia tasted the first hints of him, slightly bitter but all she had ever wanted. She used one hand to pull his hips forward and wormed inside his jeans and boxers, cupping his balls slightly awkwardly while taking his erection in as deep as she could. Jan had been so close for what seemed like forever, almost from the moment Julia had stumbled into his lap, and now he came, the sight of Julia swallowing him more than he could take.

Her name was like a prayer on his lips, and she hoisted herself up in order to kiss him deeply, keeping one hand around his softening cock. He responded greedily, and they kissed until his chest stopped heaving. When he made to slide one hand up her thigh, though, Julia shook her head, ignoring the wetness that had soaked through her panties, her smile teasing but her eyes already showing the first traces of sadness again.

“I just needed to do this, just once, before they rip us apart again.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face against his priest’s collar, and he hugged her tightly, holding her, close and comforting but chaste. If it hadn’t been for his open jeans and her messy hair, it would have been as if nothing had happened since they had entered the confessional.

“I love you, Julia. They’ll never be able to take that away from us,” Jan whispered softly before setting them back on their feet but still holding on. The familiar pain of self-enforced separation was back, but for now they were still together, their confessions of love sweet and desperate in the air between them.

***

(And One: Back on the Island)

After all the miraculous things that had happened in the past few hours, Jan had figured nothing could bowl him over anymore. Yet, when they arrived at the small hotel in Arecife which he had booked for himself, Julia smiled charmingly at the receptionist and asked in her flawless Spanish: “Do you have a double room for us? I’m really sorry for the inconvenience, but I decided to come along on a whim. The name is Brandner, Jan and Julia Brandner.”

Jan had to stop himself from gasping at her words, simple yet world-changing, the sudden rush of emotions after an already draining day almost too much to contain. Instead he grasped her hand and pressed a kiss to it while giving his own best smile to the woman behind the desk: “My… wife certainly knows how to surprise a man. If you don’t have a bigger room for tonight, I’m sure Mrs. Brandner will survive it if we share a single.”

“Oh, I will. It’ll be like being teenagers again…” He felt rather than saw the sparkle in Julia’s eyes as she looked at him sideways, entwining their fingers. Both of them had left everything behind on Mallorca, but if either one of them had harboured any doubts, they were gone now as the receptionist smiled and gave them the honeymoon suite, completely charmed by this couple, obviously so very much in love. This, this was how they were supposed to be.

Unsurprisingly they dropped their luggage where they stood and fell into each other’s arms again the moment the door to their room swung shut with a kick of Julia’s foot. It was a lovely room, spacious enough for a couch and with a beautiful balcony, but neither one of them had eyes for it as they stumbled their way to the big, inviting bed, unwilling to stop kissing for long enough to pay attention to their path. In the end they practically fell on top of it, Julia almost kneeing Jan in the groin. Both of them laughed at this, catching their breath just long enough to arrange themselves more comfortably, Julia straddling Jan and ripping off her sundress in one smooth motion.

Jan, propped up on his elbows after unbuttoning his shirt, looked up at her radiant smile, her beautiful skin revealed just for him, and his heart clenched. “Oh, Julia, my dear, dear love…” She laughed again, full of love and tenderness, and leaned down to kiss him again, slow and sweet, so different from their desperate fumbling in her marriage bed, before her son Timo had walked in on them. They lay like this for a while, just tasting each other, their hands and bodies moving with leisure, because for the first time in 18 years they knew that they truly had all the time in the world to enjoy one another. Finally Jan broke away, but only far enough to properly look into Julia’s eyes, shaking his head in wonder: “Do you have any idea how wonderful it felt to hear you call yourself my wife? I thought I’d been happy before, but that… that almost made my heart burst, it felt so good, so right.”

Julia let her fingers trail over Jan’s beloved face, knowing he could read in hers that she felt exactly the same: “And we can even make it legal, I’m sure, at least in a way. It probably won’t be difficult for me to change my last name to Arno’s, even if it might make our dear father cringe a bit. But really, Jan, we don’t need the same name - I feel as if we’re married now, just as if we’d signed some documents and said our vows in front of God.”

“Yes. Yes, we are, just like I always said - you aren't my sister, you're the woman I love and we belong together, forever.” Jan’s smile was warm like the sun just setting outside their room. He had come to terms with the fact that they would always have to hide the fact that they were siblings - their love was a blessing from the God he’d dedicated his life to for so long and that was all they needed for a marriage, as far as he was concerned. Then his smile turned mischievous: “I guess this means this is our wedding night. And here we are, still half-dressed!”

Julia laughed and hit him with a pillow, both for spoiling the mood and for the sheer joy of being able to do it without fear of getting carried away. On the contrary, they wrestled each other until they had managed to get every last scrap of clothing off, more or less in one piece. They stilled then, suddenly, aware that this was the very first time they had both been completely naked in front of each other, and neither one of them could suppress a goofy smile as they took in each other, letting hands slowly wander over all that bare skin.

Jan was already half-hard and when Julia wormed her way into his arms, pressing her whole body against his, he could feel the moistness between her legs. He shivered, feeling not impatient but filled with hot anticipation, and moved slowly against her, pressing soft kisses all over her face and neck, while she was doing the same to him. They spent what felt like hours in this way, exploring previously untouched places and reclaiming others, sometimes solemnly, sometimes giggling like teenagers - Jan’s lips on Julia’s breasts, Julia’s fingers trailing down his back and teasingly squeezing his butt.

Finally Jan kissed Julia one last time, then sat up. “Where are you going?” she asked with a pout, unwilling to let him go even for a moment.

In response he pointed at their luggage and mumbled with a blush that Julia found utterly irresistible: “Umm, provisions. I’d really, really like to be inside you now, Julia…” Because of Roberto’s infertility Julia was not on birth control, so they had stopped by the airport pharmacy on their way to the hotel.

Julia held him back with a hand on his arm and nodded towards the bedside table with a grin: “Look. Honeymoon suite, remember?” Indeed, there stood a basket, which, in addition to fruits, chocolates and champagne, contained flavoured massage oil, lube - and condoms in all shapes and sizes. They shared another laugh, and Jan leaned over to grab one of the small foil packages.

Their mirth stopped abruptly when Julia took it from him and opened it, but not before leaning down and kissing his erect cock, licking off the first beads of pre-come, making Jan gasp even before her nimble fingers put the condom on him. He was still sitting, and Julia gave his chest a firm push to make him lie back. Then she leaned over him and kissed him once more, and he could taste himself faintly on her tongue.

His hands came up to hold her hips and they both held their breath, eyes fixed on each other, as she lowered herself onto him. When he slid inside, it felt simultaneously like a miracle and as if this was where he had always belonged. Their eyes widened and each gasped the other’s name, nails digging into skin hard enough to leave half-moon shaped indentations. After that the only sounds were the slick movement of flesh against flesh, his thumb against her clit, her hand grasping his hair tightly as she stole a hungry kiss, both their hearts beating wildly as their bodies moved faster, more erratically. They had to stop kissing towards the end, and Jan’s hands gripped Julia’s hips tightly as she met him thrust for thrust.

Finally he gasped what sounded suspiciously like a curse, making her grin even as she felt him spent himself inside her. She kept rocking softly, until he slid out of her body and pulled her down for a deep kiss before pushing her over the edge with fingers pushing inside her and the heel of his hand pressing against her. She came apart in quiet shudders, burying her head against his shoulder, and he could do nothing except hold her tightly and keep whispering how much he loved her.

It might have taken them almost 20 years to get to this place, back to this island where they had had happiness in their grasp only to have it slip away, but there was no going back now. They’d done the unspeakable, something the world would condemn and probably not even those closest to them would ever really understand, although they had been trying their best when they let them go. It had started at an airport, with an instant connection too strong to be denied, and in the end there was no room for regret in either Jan or Julia's world, wrapped around each other, finally complete.

***

Notes on the source material: When I go the incest route, it’s normally with m/m pairings like Connor/Murphy from Boondock Saints, about siblings who live such fucked-up lives that they’re their only fixed point, but I remember reading a study years ago about sexual attraction between close relatives that didn’t grow up together - and Wikipedia tells me that I remember correctly: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genetic_sexual_attraction

While I’ve followed the more recent Christian/Olli pairing on Youtube at times, Jan/Julia was only something I remember reading about in teen magazines when VL started in the mid-90s. Not too long ago I stumbled across a fanvid about their happy ending and it made me curious enough to look up some of their storyline. Old episodes of VL can be found here (Jan & Julia appear in the first 523 eps): http://www.myvideo.ch/channel/verbotene-liebe, the new ones are here: http://www.youtube.com/user/Mittag1234 - clips headed something like  “... Clarissa”, starting around ep. 3850, usually tend to include Jan and/or Julia (all in German only, sorry).

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