Author's Note: I'm not sure I'm really into the show, but I do like Walter (blame Elyes Gabel *g*), and this little tidbit just wanted out...
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Walter has had sex. When he turned eighteen he went to a rather expensive prostitute, because he figured that with sex, as with all things worthwhile, it paid to go to a professional. He’d been right.
Not that it had been extraordinarily good, although it had also not been especially bad, but because he didn’t think a non-professional bed partner would have appreciated his detailed mid-act inquiries about technique, performance and experience. The prostitute, while not exactly enthusiastic, had obviously had a lot of practice in humoring her clients, so Walter had walked away from their encounter feeling that he knew most of what there was to know about male-female copulation. He also felt vindicated in his suspicion that the slightly improved physical satisfaction gained in sex with a partner was too much effort in comparison with the ease of masturbation.
So that’s what he stuck to in the following years. Not very frequently, but at times Walter found it helpful when he was stressed out and needed to get out of his head for a while. Sex, if not aimed at procreation, was simple physical release, and he never understood why the rest of the world appeared to constantly obsess over it.
Then he met Toby. The behaviorist also used sex as a tool, but in a completely different way from Walter, pursuing it with similar intensity as he did his gambling. According to him, sex was the best way of getting a direct view into other people’s most private issues, which was, after all, what Toby was all about. And then he leaned back with a lazy smile and asked whether Walter had at least tried having sex with another man before deciding that his right hand was all he needed to satisfy his physical urges.
Walter might often have been baffled by what drove most normal human beings, but he was not used to being taken unawares when it came to himself and how he functioned. After all, with so few people capable of seeing eye-to-eye with him, he had had to become an expert on himself, the way his brain worked and how he interacted with the world. So he was slightly irritated that Toby had pointed out an area which Walter had completely overlooked.
Yes, heterosexuality was the norm, but there was a great enough subset of the population whose sexuality fell onto other parts of the spectrum that Walter felt he should at least have given the possibility some consideration. True to form, he immediately decided to rectify this oversight, but was again surprised when, instead of pointing out to him where he might find the best male partner, Toby suggested himself.
Walter considered the matter and realized there was logic to the proposition. After all, Toby was one of the small number of people who came even close to understanding how Walter ticked and would therefore be less likely to be offended over social faux-pas. Plus, they did work well together in other areas, and Toby’s relationship track record since his break-up showed that he had a lot of practice with one-night-stands, which was all Walter foresaw as necessary. So, having considered the issue from all angles and calculated the effects it might have, he agreed.
They conducted the experiment the very next night, and Walter had to reluctantly admit that it was a more satisfying experience than his previous encounter with the female sex worker. However, he was not sure whether this was for anatomical reasons or because Toby and Walter simply communicated better because of their higher intellectual compatibility. At least he had been correct in assuming that the sexual component did not influence their relationship. Toby still sniped, complained and constantly challenged Walter, and they still worked together extremely well in spite of it. So, when Walter next felt the urge for physical gratification, he went once again to Toby.
It seemed only logical - he had foregone sex with women because masturbation was easier, and now he had found something that was as easy as masturbating but with the added stimuli another person could supply. For example, he was rather fond of Toby’s mouth. Not so much for kissing, an act of intimacy which somewhat puzzled Walter, but for other purposes. Toby’s fingers were also very nimble and somehow more satisfying than Walter’s own. Penetration, both giving and receiving, received high marks as well, although the required hygiene and preparation made it something Walter did not always have the patience for. It helped that Toby always seemed more than happy to do whatever Walter wanted, instructing him in the same no-nonsense manner he exhibited when analysing someone’s behavior.
The fact that Toby was attracted to Happy didn’t change anything; on the contrary, it even increased the frequency of their sexual encounters, something, Walter realized with something that was almost surprise, he did not mind at all. It also meant the danger of Toby becoming emotionally attached, small as it was, decreased even further. So unless they were not on speaking terms, which admittedly was on a semi-regular basis, Toby showed up on Walter’s doorstep an average of 2.3 times a week, and Walter hardly ever turned him away. In bed everything seemed to flow easily, the one area of interpersonal interaction that did so, and Walter enjoyed the way their bodies communicated without words almost as much as the rush of endorphins that came with the physical release.
Then Paige joined them. Naturally Walter had come in contact with attractive women of normal intelligence before, but unless they were family none had ever become part of the small circle of people he considered ‘his’. With Paige, however, it happened so quickly he hardly noticed it, and suddenly she was everywhere, so normal and yet… not. Walter found it difficult not to watch her, the way she interacted with Ralph, with the team, with the rest of the world. In bed, Toby grinned knowingly and, in breach of their usual habits, kissed him, telling him that Paige would expect kissing, should Walter ever be that lucky.
Closing his eyes and remembering the way Paige had felt against him when they danced at that fancy party, Walter kissed back. Toby twisted his tongue, and something hot travelled down from where their mouths met and sparked a fire in Walter’s stomach. It seemed his opinions about kissing, like his opinions on normal women, might need to be re-evaluated. Maybe it was time to learn something new.
